Donut Dick Talk!

I’m a little sad.  I was trying to figure out why I haven’t got replenished and I realized Doc Johnson may have discontinued my favorite set of Universal donuts that normally are for the base of their Robo Suck 3 penis pump or any penis pump in general.  It helps with making their penis pump a fun masturbating toy but helped decreased the dreaded bruised pelvic bone.

BUT!

What I normally liked to sell the Robo Suck 3 Universal Donut Set for is literally the purpose of being a donut! When a girl has a partner who has a larger/longer penis and have a hard time banging too rough, it helps give a little bit of cushion.  It’s made from their lovely trademarked squishy UR3 material.

I’ve had about 3 pregnant woman who are trying not to … be …so dangerous in the bedroom haha aka making you bleed since you’re knocking on that cervix.  I’ve also had a few girls use it since their man’s anaconda dicks are poking them too hard. 😛  This made it so that you literally have a stopper.

So, I would recommend you just slip it down on the base of the penis and lube it up with a little bit of water based lubricant and go to town! It makes a little 1-2 inch cushion.

I haven’t been able to find it since they discontinued it but there are still a few floating around on Amazon. 

Hope that helped for a few of you guys asking me for it!

My hands are so rough…What does a girl have to do to give him a handjob without feeling like a cheese grater?

“…It’s embarrassing. My hands are so rough because of  work and they are rougher than his.  I want to touch him without being embarrassed. What does a girl have to do to give him a handjob without feeling like a cheese grater?  I’m sure his penis is confused when I give him a blowjob since my hand feels like a man but my mouth feels like a woman…”

Holy crap, woman. I love you hahaha You went from 0 to 100 and it made reading my messages so entertaining this morning. For once it’s not another butt stuff question. Haha. First off, I think you are fabulous for being a woman who works with her hands.

I’m sure everyone and their moms are telling you with their bougie voices, “OHHHH just get a manicure!!!” 0_0 I get it. You’re not alone, I have a body builder galfriend who has the same woes as you. Manicures aren’t going to fix the constant roughness and I don’t expect you to plan your sex life around your last skin treatment.

Like most things in the adult toy industry, there are products out there that you didn’t even know existed. Haha Some require a bit of prep work and are a bit …different looking.  I know in the back of your head, you’re wishing you could just replace your hands or cove glove and you’re good! …and when I say funky… I really mean it.

The reason I think they are funky isn’t because of their purpose, it’s because I’m judging a book by its cover.  They make it so you have to literally put yourself out there and put on your most sexy face on, put some skanky lingerie and some “f*ck me” hells on because the contraptions look like your going to attack his junk and it’s gonna hurt hahaha it’s not… but it looks like it.  I don’t personally know you but from what you’re asking for these might not be it. But I’m gonna show you anyways so I’m not leaving anything out. This gloves are literally squishy similar to the material of stretchy cock rings. So, you’d have to lube your hands up a bit to put it on or else your hands are going to be skidding on in. Then, you lube up his member with a water-based lubricant and get down to handjob town. They can be used on you as well, if you like to play crotch dj on yourself. BUT, they look like a hot mess. Almost like you’re trying too hard, which isn’t sexy. Thus, the reason why you might have to compensate looking sexy because this glove will put you down a few notches on the sexy scale. Haha He might not even think it’s that big of deal in comparison to you. But let’s keep the ball rolling.

What I’d love to recommend is just getting a sleeve. They come in all shapes, colors, sizes, and various textures. It’s a bit easier to just grab a sleeve, insert it and stroke it. Sleeves also allow you to be able to gauge on how much pressure you’d like to give him.

Made by the folks at Blush Novelties, this small stroker enhances a handy with its ribbed inside and is Glow in the Dark!

I think the ones that literally the size of your palms and are only a couple of inches are perfect! It won’t take away too much from the visual appeal of the hand job and make it look like you aren’t shoving his dick in some weird rubber orfice.

The ultimate BJ Helper from Doc Johnson. A small sleeve with soft massaging beads inside to give great shaft pleasure.

These smaller sleeves are great if you want to do a handjob and blowjob combo since it allows space for your mouth on top. Which is also helpful if you want the effect that you’re deepthroating but you just can’t get it all in there so you can stroke the shaft and give him pleasure that way as well.

Softest glove you’ll ever love! Haha Simple and straight to the point. It’s a masturbation sleeve. That’s all haha

There are longer sleeve for the more well endowed man… OR! To cover the penis completely and won’t let your hand scrape him up “cheese grater style”. Haha 😛 It also is nice to give a great massage on the head of the penis going up and down since it’ll feel like its being inserted into whatever hole his imagination is working with.

This stroker has been a big seller to many men. Doc Johnson got it right when it came to this one for the larger penis owners. 😀

Keep in mind some of the longer sleeves have an open end and others have a closed end for easier cleanup.

Vibrates has this “love glove” called Maven and it’s a closed ended masturbation sleeve. It looks like a some sea creature out of water but it does the trick!

 

Oldie but goodie! This has been around for awhile but customer keep coming back for it.

You could also just go the Fleshlight route but it really depends because it’s not in true handy-fashion. Haha

If you feel you can get away with trying a super awesome lubricant. Why not try using Stroke 29.

This masturbation cream has one mission in life and that is just to stroke a dick. It’s not made for sex or condoms but it’s a hit for a man’s solo time!

This masturbation cream  has natural oils in it so I don’t recommend hopping on after your hand-y session since it’ll mess up with your vag’s ph balance.  Stick to hands since the ingredients aren’t compatible with normal stuff like condoms.  This cream gives enough friction to give pleasure but glides for great sensation. I’ve had several male customers become fans of it.

I gave a handful of suggestions of adult products you can try. You can snag any of these online or at your nearest adult boutique. They will have many other similar items. Just remember if you guys have a latex allergy you might have to choice a stroker made out of silicone (I can send recommendations if that’s the case). I commend you for trying your best to pleasure your man even against all odds haha and I hope this helped! <3


If anyone would like to try out a trial size packet of Stroke 29, I can snail mail it to you! Just send me a $1 for postage 😀

Go to: https://cash.me/$hankypankyharlot and under “optional note” write your Name & mailing address! <3 I’ll mail it the following day!

“I lost my Magic Wand charging cord when I moved, where can I get a replacement?”

“I lost my Magic Wand charging cord when I moved, where can I get a replacement? “

Toys nowadays are transitioning into the lovely rechargeable era.  Where the whole toy or partial of the toy is rechargeable. As much as we want to say Sayonara to batteries… there are moments like these when we will still need them or want to praise them.  Like when? The times when you forget to charge your toy OR the lovely times when you lose the charging cord and you just need a quickie! Haha

I’ve lost a bunch of chargers before haha but thank god the other toys I have from the line are compatible. The same can’t be said for the Magic Wand rechargeable version. Haha It’s a pretty unique charger so…

This post is for the THREE lovely ladies that misplaced your cord!  Don’t toss your Rechargeable Magic Wand out just yet!  and don’t fret and listen to all those other people who keep telling you that you “HAVE” to just buy a new Magic wand.  Save your moneyzzzz!

Check out the Good Vibrations website!
They sell just the charger cable cord by itself!
It’s only $24.95 

There are other websites that sell the charging cord but they are a smidgen higher in price.

 

I know some of you hate buying things online, so I’m working on getting it in person but if you want it ASAP,  snag a cord from the reputable Good Vibrations website.

Hope that helps out you wand princesses!

Treat Yo Self: A Self-love and masturbation workshop

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve done a workshop.  What better way to get back into it than to feature it on Self-Love and Masturbation!  Something fun and perfect for errrr-body!

This is one of those moments where we are going to acknowledge that not only is masturbation important but the small things that make us feel good.  I hate saying the phrase “Self-Love” since it sounds cheesey but it’s the one thing many people don’t think do on a daily basis.  They think of others, they expect love from someone else but what they fail to realize is their own love for their selves matter more.  Going out of your way to do or get material things that make you smile, needs to happen every once and awhile.  Reward yourself for little accomplishments and life becomes THAT much more brighter!

Got out of bed? Have an orgasm! Lol Let’s snag yourself a new vibe, get a new lube,  find different ways to crotch dj it up! Come stop by and treat yo self!

 

WeVibe Charger Cable Hack

When you buy something new and exciting, you automatically think of all the cool new features and tech-y things it can do.  Our minds tend to slip of the information and the things that come along with it like up keep, warranties, etc. etc.  Then, the one main feature is the one thing that might hinder your use of it or even annoy you, like being rechargeable.

One of my favorite adult toy companies out there is We Vibe but sometimes their charging cord and adapter really likes to irk me at times, almost as much as Fun Factory’s charging adapter too.  Both have a magnetic adapter that snaps together connect the USB power cord to the toy.

So you can imagine my frustration when, I’ve walked away for a couple hours with the thought in mind that my toy is comfortably charging this entire time… to come back and find that it’s completely dead still since I didn’t have the connectors hit perfectly.

The cords have been wrapped tight to be shipped and stored away in the pretty packaging but it takes a hot minute for it to unwrap, de-kink and stay straight.  You can always go the “Put a heavy book on it route” or! You can do my little troubleshooting hack!

Very rarely do I recommend you to keep the box to a toy (unless they are the crazy type that require to have it for their warranty) .  But this time I think it’s a great idea if you have a Wevibe Tango or Touch!  The box it comes in has the perfect small indention for the cord to weave through and it won’t wiggle like a worm.   Just a small hack I tend to do when the cords just don’t seem to like to stay in place. ;P If you decorate the box, it also help for discretion while charging.

Hope that helps all you kiddos out there! <3 <3 <3

What perfume do you wear?

I went into Excitement with my girlfriend and she mentioned she liked your perfume. I want to get her perfume for Valentine’s Day and want that one. What perfume do you wear?

Awww YOU SMELLed ME!! *flattered* haha 😂  Aren’t you an observant and thoughtful fella!  Fragrances are always a nice go-to for Valentine’s Day gifts.  They are also extremely hard to buy since not all smells mix well with a person’s own scent. I wish I could’ve made this easier on you but, It really depends on when you came in.   So, I’m just gonna give you a list and you gotta go into a store and sniff them if you can remember Haha OR you can tell me when you came in and that can determine what I was wearing.

Top notes: A mojito-inspired sensual blend of crushed mint leaves warmed by brown sugar and missed with the zest of Italian Limone. Middle notes: Feminine floral notes emerge with joyous hints of Jasmine, dew of Peony and traces of pink pepper. Bottom notes: The signature Mediterranean trail is rooted by the hearts of cedar wood and Labdanum.

If it was last year, I was wearing Giorgio Armani’s Acqua di Gioia.  I’ve been using that on and off for the past 3 years.   I received it as a present for Christmas and I got stuck on it for awhile.  If that was it, lucky for you, they have a cute ACQUA DI GIOIA VALENTINE’S DAY SET on their website with a bunch of other doo-dads.

Top notes: Rhubarb, Red Currant, Juicy Kiwi Accord Heart notes: Pink Cyclamen, Fresh Watermelon Accord Base notes: Musky Notes, Sandalwood, Grapefruit Wood

If you came in this year I’ve been switching it up a bit.  But usually, during the week,  I wear D&G 3 L’Imperatrice Eau de Toilette.  Dolce & Gabbana used to have a line of fragrances with a bunch of numbers, where you could mix the scents and they were unisex.  I loved them all.  But, they discontinued all but 1 of them, the #3 and I can only find mine at Sephora and Ulta. I’ve noticed people always compliment me more when I wear this one.

Top Notes: Seductive notes:Joyful carefreeness, explosion of caramel Mid Notes: Powdery notes: Sophistication, cocktail of musks Base notes: Vanilla notes: Sensuality, Benjoin Overdose

If I smelled a bit sweeter, it might have been my Prada Candy.  Which I like to wear on days I’m feeling a bit more femme and need snugs haha.  This one is easier to find like in department stores. This scent is always fun since they do fragrance sets as well during the Valentine season.

On top of that sometimes, I love putting on Pure Instinct, which is a pheromone roll-on I love to recommend.  The scent varies from person to person since it adapts to your own scent to arouse a potential mate.  I’ve noticed a lot of waitresses, bartenders and exotic dancers like to wear this since it increases their tips. 😛

I hope that was helpful and I hope you both have an amazing Valentine’s Day!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Liberator’s Heart is Wedge-ing it’s way off my bed

If any of you remember my Review for Liberator’s Heart Wedge, my pillow hoarding skills are intense and continuously keeps growing.
Today, was my day off and it was deep cleaning day in my bedroom!  Laundry, Dust, and Organize everything times one thousand.  It always makes me happy to have my hermit hole room to be cozy and any time there is too much going on, I get so much anxiety.  So, you can only imagine my feelings the nights after my partner spends with me.  It is a ritual dragging all the pillows that have toppled off the bed,  back on it.  This time, as I was organizing and putting them back on, I got down to one last pillow. My Liberator Heart Wedge.
Something that once used to make my heart skip a beat, is now such an eye sore.  Recently, I got a new bedroom set that doesn’t match. 🙁  My fun new Mint green and White combo printed bed sheets doesn’t pair well with my beautiful Merlot red Heart Wedge.  Which is such a bummer since Valentine’s day is right around the corner and I wanted to keep it front and center.  *sigh*  I’m such a matching queen.
I checked distributors and their main website, and they don’t seem to sell the other various colored pillow cases separately.  What seemed like the most logical plan to replace the pillow case instead of adding another pillow to my madness failed.
I have been a big fan ever since I bought a Decor Whirl pillow and my love is renewed every time I sell a liberator product.  But, this whole time, I have been a dick wad and misinformed my customers.  “NAHHH,  get the wedge heart, it’s so cute! You can just replace the cover later!!” but i’m over here just now realizing they only have various colors with the pillows on their website and you have to call their 1-800 number in order to get it separately.  so… sorry guys that I misinformed you. 🙁 Hopefully soon, Liberator will make our lives easier and just put it up on their website as an option without the trouble of calling.
For now, I’ll just wait it out and for any of you that want to add this awesome Heart Wedge to their collection, they are having a few sales perfect for Valentine’s Day right around the corner.

Sex Toy Review | Crave Vesper

I was having a monotonous Monday morning until my partner walked through the door and dropped this gem in my hand.  A super surprise that made my heart skip a beat.  No reason, just because! But, I saw the box and automatically knew what it was.  A fashionable yet functional vibrator necklace by Crave! Who needs flowers when I can have a bouquet of orgasms instead! 😀

#Bae😍 rolled through today & added a @lovecrave #Vesper to my collection. #giftoforgasms #rosegold #bulletvibe #vesperstyle #necklace 😻💓💦

A post shared by 💕💖💜💛🐰🌸Xox Jade🌸 🐙💛💜💖💕 (@hankypankyharlot) on


 

Over 6 years ago, this company started their vision by crowdfunding their way into one of the most elegant and innovative toy companies in the market.  I love that they started from the bottom and now they have such a beautiful selection of vibrators.

It’s very rare that I can describe a Sex Toy… beautiful but it really is.  Their chic and sleek products looks define their image. This puts my mind at ease as a consumer and draws me to them.


The Vesper is a slim bullet vibrator that duals as an eloquent piece of jewelry as well.  Made from Stainless steel and plated with sterling silver.  I got the one accented with rose gold. *flips hair like I’m fancy chic or something*  The top  of the toy and the lovely  26″ length chain is in the rose gold.  The rest of its body with a whopping 3.8 inches in length is in the super silver!  The surface is smooth and glides over your skin or stays put if you want that kind of pressure orgasm.  The material allows the surface to be non-porous and the cleanup session is easy easy.  Especially since you’ll be wanting to wear this all the time.

It is rechargeable! The top cap that has a loop for the chain unscrews and you can screw in the small USB adapter  to charge.  It has a light that you can see easily when it is charging and completed. The single button is very indiscreet to the point to wear it look almost identical to my customer’s regular ol’ necklace.  (She was bummed to find out the difference between her necklace and mine was she paid more for something that doesn’t even vibrate haha YAY for my multi-tasking necklace) I even turned it on for her and until she put it on her hand, she didn’t even realize it was on the highest speed.  It’s extremely quiet, with 4 speeds, low, medium, high and the ever so annoying pulsing vibe (I have to be in the mood for pulsation).  It was barely audible when it was on the pulsing vibration which made me laugh since my cellphone vibration is louder than this vibrator.  Let’s put it this way, my customer was super jelly.  The vibration is a strong buzzer so if you’re more of a thumper, you might wanna opt for their other options with a silicone top to make the vibration a bit muted.  I have to be on the mood for this type of vibration, let’s say more of a teasing type of mood.  But over all, I haven’t found anything to bitch about. 😂 haha

I’ve had a few other necklace vibrators but this one is top notch in comparison.  Not only is it smaller, the intensity of the vibration blows all of the others out of the water.

I do like it for orgasms on the go and it’d be perfect for all you little harlots who love vibrators when you’re in some hardcore traffic. 😉

If you want to be vain, look hella cute and have an orgasm deliverer around your neck, the Vesper needs to be yours. <3

Check out LOVECRAVE.com to snag your own vesper or to scope out the rest of their line of toys.

 

 

Sex Toy Review | Touch by We-Vibe

I don’t normally name my toys but sometimes the names that the companies give them are a little much or the name is so basic that when I mention the toy, it doesn’t leave an impression.  Every since I accidentally let it slip that the Touch by We-Vibe is called my Purple People Eater.  My Friends have adapted to it and always call it by that too.  The “Purple People Eater” name has even left an impression so great… that even my customers remember and call their new Touch by that name too!

At first glance, in a display case with other premium toys Wevibe’s Touch often gets overlooked.  This simple toy is made by the Canadian premium toy company, We-Vibe! Where their vibrators really live up to its name! I vibe, you vibe, we all vibe for orgasms!   This company is pretty high on my favorites list to recommend.  Their products sell themselves since all of their attributes are one of a kind, rechargeable, and body safe.  They don’t over saturate the toy market with toys that are unnecessary but instead offer products that are made simply to satisfy a woman’s simple sexual desires. ( and I hope you read that with grandiose and elegance.)

First, can we give a shout out to the design team who made the packaging!  Big ups! Hahaha Just look at it!! It’s sleek and it really portrays the quality of the toy you’ll be getting inside.   (I recommend keeping the box but I’ll tell you why in a bit.) It has a watercolor like look that is calming and reflects the color of toy inside.

 

The Touch comes in an eggplant purple color that isn’t loud and obnoxious.  Premium silicone that is velvet to the touch all over minus the bottom where it charges and has a single controlling button. It’s pebble shape fits perfectly in the palm of your hand or your partner’s hand to get a decent grip, even if you are all lubed up.  So, don’t worry you aren’t going to be playing hot potato with it.  The tip curves into a nice cupping design for those days where you want a more flickering or pinpointing clitoral stimulation. It also narrows down so you can still use it while with a partner. But, the cup like scoop can be flipped over for hard pressure other times.

Total Hybrid… not too buzzy and not too thumpy.  The vibrations are deep enough but fast enough to bring on orgasms without being too intense.  The motor is strong but isn’t loud enough the neighbors can hear.  You can play all you want in earshot but if you have roommates they won’t hear it in the next room.  If you’re still paranoid, you can always just resort to turning up Netflix when you chill since this guy comes with 8 different type of vibration modes.  The regular ol’ steady vibrations that increase 4 times and 4 various types of vibration patterns (Tease, Wave, Pulse and even the Cha-Cha). I’ve found that the steady vibration is great when you just want an orgasm straight and to the point.  Then, you can use the vibration patterns when you would like to do a fun increase in the excitement stages while extending the amount of time while watching porn, reading smut or just a fun teasing start up.

Made out of a premium silicone that is soft and velvety smooth to the “touch”.   This silicone is completely body-safe so you won’t have to worry about it having phthalates, BPA and latex in case you have an allergy.  This smooth texture on the surface while applied with your favorite Water-based lube allows it to glide over the clitoris with ease.

The base of the toy has a magnetic charging connection that makes it a great waterproof toy as well! If you charge it for a good hour and a half you’ll have about 2-3 hours worth of play time.  Now, my only bummer about this glorious toy is the magnetic connection to charge.  At first, the usb cord has been wrapped so well in the box that it doesn’t lie flat at first which makes the toy flip a little and the connection moves.  The moment I walked away, it’d twist like a silly worm and sometimes, a whole hour goes by and I didn’t even realize that it wasn’t charging.   🙁

Even though, I’d love to store it in the white silk-like bag all the time, I love my Fun hack.  If you keep the box, you can use the side cut out to make the silly usb cord from disconnecting. Makes for easier storage as well.

This pebble shaped vibrator is so simplistic in design that it almost seems like it won’t get the job done.  BUT! It really does!  It’s my go-to. 😀  Try it out and maybe it’ll becomes your best friend too!

 


^_^ Please check out: The “Touch” was perfect without “sight”

I Need Butt Help.

What’s up BUTTercup?

“So, my boyfriend guy and I are adventuring with my butt. But neither of us have ever actually done it so where should we start?”

Butt stuff is such a fun adventure!  I will and always tell people that doing butt stuff is the most intimate thing you can do with your partner.  Soooooo much trust and prep go into butt stuff to make it enjoyable for both partners.

I’m pretty sure that your adventure’s end goal is having his penis inside your bum BUT!!…  that’s down the road.  Remember, that you need to go slow.  *womp womp* Slow and steady wins the race. (That’s even hard for me to say since I have no patience and like to sprint and get ‘errr done.) Just remember that if you put in the prep and work beforehand it’ll be a hell of a lot easier.  When a few factors align like both partners realize that the bottom is the one in charge, you know how your bodies react, and you have everything set up like a map your bodies will tell you what to do. 😛

When a person says they’d like to get into butt stuff, there is usually the assumption that something is inevitably going to be stuck in their “no-no” hole. Which causes them to push the panic button.  But, DUDE!!! There are sooooo many ways to stimulate the butt without ever actually sticking anything in.  I love to recommend people to just play with the exterior before the interior.  The part that you see actually is the most sensitive since all the nerve endings are right there at the opening.  A fun thing to start with is just putting pressure on the anus while having sex or just plain masturbating.   A niiice… butthole massage you can say.   Or, You can always start with eating the booty like groceries, so you can get familiar with the different sensations down there.

buttvolutionI love being a female since we have so many holes haha and you could always wear a small butt plug to get used to the feeling and just bone regular all vag-penner stylez.   But, your best sex toy is you or your partner’s hands, because not only are they significantly smaller than other things you want to stick in.  Your hands can feel everything, from friction and if you need to add more lube or if the butt is ready to take more in.   Use my butt-volution guideline: finger… then when your butt seems more, relax & add a second finger… maybe a butt plug…  or maybe a dildo… you can always add a third finger if you’re skilled and then finally you —ease— in a penis.

Stick it in to see how it feels, don’t automatically start pumping with quickness unless YOU KNOW you are ready for that. ( plus, if you pump too fast, you’ll regret it tomorrow when you feel the constant urge to poo haha)

If you’re going the finger route, use your joints as a ruler to gauge the steps. buttrulerGetting into that butt, one joint at a time.  Or you can get a fun butt toy that has various nubs to play with.

Everything depends when it comes to sex in general, but sometimes with butt sex you won’t even get past the finger or two finger steps on the butt-volution scale. Don’t get discouraged, butt stuff is a process.

You could always put a buttplug in to get your butt ready too! Some even have cute jewels, so you can let your partner know what’s on the menu tonight. haha  But, I recommend a nice glass toy with my favorite lube, PJUR back door.  It’s the only way I can get down with the anal and it has Jojoba oil, a natural muscle relaxant to calm those butt muscles down to take down the “thou shall not enter” sign.  Also, it’s just great for exterior!  😉 booty massages. lol

These are some of my other posts for Anal Sex:

Please check those out.  Relax! Anal sex is quite enjoyable if you do it right.  If it hurts, stop because we are suppose to be having fun duhhhh.

((Love you A! <3 Snap me if you need anything else))

A blog devoted to Adult Product & Sex Toy Recommendations & Reviews, Q&A's, and Sex Related Information.