All rights reserved by zippythesimshead
(http://www.flickr.com/people/11423291@N03/)

I get pretty ANAL about LUBE.

Recently, I headed out to a house party and ended up having girl talk with a mini group of gals. I stumbled into the convo and what was the topic? That’s right the unspoken “Anal Sex” discussion.

I got caught up in this conversation when this one girl said to NOT use any lube. I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped and couldn’t believe the next words coming out of her mouth. Apparently, her first experience wasn’t so pleasant and she had to take a visit to the hospital because (duh, she didn’t use lube and) she got an anal fissure (micro tear) from obviously friction and started bleeding when she went to the bathroom. She started spewing out how it was just because it was the first time. Haha our bums don’t have a hymen, people. It ain’t like that. It seems to be coming up a lot around me, and all I want to do is yell from the rooftops. WHERE DA LUBE AT?!?! Read more to get some recommendations and learn a few pros and cons on what to use!

Just like when you have ashy knees and elbows you lather on some lotion. Yeah, you do it so you don’t look like a scaly dry freak, and it feels good.  But, you mainly do it to moisturize your skin to help the longevity and if the dryness is pretty bad when it might hurt and because your skin doesn’t self lubricate.  I like to think of Lube as the cousin to Lotion. So, if it’s dry and causing friction down there why aren’t you lathering on some lube? It’s pretty much the same thing!

When I say i’m anal about lube… I am in general. But ESPECIALLY if we’re talking about having anal sex.  The anus is not self-lubricating so you need a little bit of help. Some have and will do it without any lube but it’s better safe sex practices to do with it. Please don’t think of it as a crutch.

There are many types of lubricants made specifically for having anal sex. So, I thought I’d give a few of my favorites out there.

Let’s Talk Lube.

My Fave Water Based Anal Lube Lineup
My Fave Water Based Anal Lube Lineup

If you’re planning on using toys, I recommend using a water based lubricant. A few pros to using a water-based lubricant is it easier for cleanup and won’t stain the sheets. :) A big con is that since it is comprised of water which makes it dry up quicker.  It adsorbs into the lining of the anal cavity faster, so it’ll absorb into the skin faster as well as evaporate into the air. So, you will need to reapply more than let’s say a silicone lubricant. Another big decision is you need to make sure that your toys (if you do decide to use some) need to be compatible and normally all water-based is a better go to,

Climax Bursts Anal lubricant: stay slick and wet longer. It even has these crazy little “bursts” and dots that you can visibly see that actually are vitamin E, so it keeps the anal cavity walls nice and lubricated.

Wicked’s Jelle is obviously like the name explains a gel. Nice and thick GOOPY almost but good goopy! Jelle has a great longevity when it comes to staying wet longer. It has a nice wet refreshing feel to it.

Encounter’s Ultimate Anal Lubricant, This lube is kind of the black sheep of lube. I feel like nobody gives it a chance like they should since this anal lube is the most comfy lube I’ve tried. It’s thick but not tacky like some water based lubes and it has a push top dispenser so its easy to access more if needed.

Intimate Organics “Soothe” Anal Anti-Bacterial Lubricant  This is by far the best organic lubricant I’ve come across. It is nice and thick suitable for Anal.  It has all right characteristics that sensitive people and organic lovers would like. It is paraben-free and has certified organic extracts including a guava bark extract that is a natural anti-bacterial agent.  If you don’t mind it’s distinctive smell then this one is great!  Keep in mind… a couple of my friends have liked the smell, I’m on the fence, and I’ve had some customers that can’t get over the smell. lol I guess you just have to check it out yourself!

Sliquid Sassy Another great Vegan friendly  water-based lube. It has all the nice qualities of being glycerin free and paraben free.  I actually like this lube for both anal and vaginal since it’s a nice consistency. It feels like regular women’s secretion but with a little more cushion.

EDIT! I completely forgot to add in Maximus!! It’s probably the thickest most GOOPY LUUUBE out there. (goopy good… not goopy bad :D)) I spaced! I have many of my harlot friends who swear by this. I… ehhhhh erg have not tried it. But! :) we can always add that to the to do list!

Maximus Water-Based Lubricant
Maximus Water-Based Lubricant
Silicone Anal Lube LineuP!
Silicone Anal Lube LineuP!

From Left to the right!

Pjur’s BackDoor and Pjur’s Anaylse Me, are my ultimate favorites for anal.   Let’s just say Back Door was my Gateway drug to anal penetration.  The consistency is completely like a slip-n-slide.  A great silicone that has that “oil-y” feel that stays on and allows me to feel the sensation and enjoy being penetrated. The key point as to why I swear by Pjur’s Backdoor or Analyze Me is because I need that extra bit of help.  The 1″ of “OH SHIT” aka your anal sphincter, the gatekeeper to anal goodness takes me a bit to work up.  So what better way than to use a lube that contains Jojoba Oil. *puts on my hippie hat on* Jojoba Oil has so many benefits in general but it’s great to be used for the back door. One being that it is a natural muscle relaxant and contains an anti-inflammatory substance called myristic acid which makes that 1 inch of “OH SHIT” anal sphincter muscle the help to CALM THE F’ DOWN.  It makes penetration easier after a few minutes of gentle anal massaging.  Jojoba oil has been used for ages to treat burns and rashes so if you want to do vigorous anal stimulation it will multi-task as well. Another nice quality of Jojoba oil is it is a fungicide that will help the prevention of urinal track infections in females, and fungus.  This oil along side with Pjur’s high grade silicone recipe makes for an amazing lube.  The packaging is very similar to a baby’s oil bottle for perfect squirting action while having sex. :D Hope you have good aim!

Wet’s Uranus This lubricant contains all the qualities of a good silicone lubricant.  Uranus is paraben-free and latex friendly! I’ve only encountered their water-based lube.  But this is another one to add to my “to-do list” but once again another harlot friend recommendation.

 Jo’s Anal Premium This isn’t like the thickest lube out there but for a lubricant that uses pharmaceutical grade ingredients for their silicone lubricant it’s pretty “CUSHION-y”  It’s thicker than most of the other silicone that is more “Oil-y” this one is thicker, jelly like and gives more coverage.

I.D. BackSlide Once again… another one to add to my list since I’ve been stuck on my Pjur BackDoor train. I really should try this one though since it has a few qualities that I liked how they described it on their site. :)

ID’s BackSlide ® was created with a special thick silicone-based formula. In fact, our silicone lube is one of, if not the thickest lubricants available for consumers to enjoy. This thick, cushiony texture and feel is unlike any other anal lubricant on the market. Our formula includes clove and spilanthes extract which work in conjunction to provide a natural, mild muscle relaxing effect. This allows for ease of penetration as it keeps the anus from unnecessarily contracting while not desensitizing the individual completely.”

 Hope this helped out!  I will revise and update this page when I can honestly give my full and complete opinion on the other lubricants I haven’t tried and have only been recommended from my harlot friends.

I always say, you can’t knock something unless you try it. So remember try something and see what works for you! Comment! Let me know what works for you and your thoughts on any of these or other great anal lube products!

One thought on “I get pretty ANAL about LUBE.”

Leave a Reply