Guide to Picking a Vibrator

This guide to be used like a checkoff list on how to pick a vibrator …whether it’s your next new addition to the toy box OR IF IT’S YOUR FIRSTIE!! *tosses confetti in the air*

SO MANY things pop in your head when someone brings up the term vibrators since there is such an array of sex toy vibrators out there.  The reason for that is because there are so many ways to stimulate a person’s body and everyone is different on what type of stimulation they might want! I’m just going to go over the basic ways to picking a vibrator.

Vibrators are any type of gadget that creates vibrations that can be used to stimulate the body’s nerves and erogenous zones.  (Keep in mind there are many other sex toys out there that do not have vibrations… but we’ll get to that another time.)KISS

So, when you are choosing a Vibrator, I stick to the acronym K.I.S.S…. similar to the Keep it simple stupid motto. Which you might need to remember when picking your first toy.  You don’t need to buy the first toy you see that has all the bell ‘n whistles and shoots lasers but if you want to TREAT YO SELF, go right ahead!  So, stick with this guideline and it’ll make picking your next toy LOADS easier.

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 First! What KIND of stimulation would you like and where would you like to stimulate?  This is usually the highest priority when choosing your vibrator. There are many toys that do the same thing or might multi-task but one toy might work better than another stimulating a certain area. So, what erogenous zone are you aiming to stimulate?

  • External Stimulation AKA Clitoral.  There are toys specifically made for just clitoral but pretty much any toy that vibrates can be used for Clitoral.
  • Internal Stimulation.  These are insertable vibrators that can give a type of stimulation that give a full feeling or to vibrate the inner walls.  They come in many shapes but majority are almost phallic or just plain elongated to make insertion easier.
  • Both Internal and External Stimulation. I usually say this is for the greedy girls and know how to get the job done! It’s where you have an insertable shaft and a piece that extends and vibrates the clitoris at the same time. This type of dual stimulation usually is the rabbit.
  • G-Spot.  These are vibrators that are curved upward geared to massage the G-spot. They have almost a hook like appearance to be able to reach up and forward to massage.
  • Anal. These toys are made to be inserted anally and usually have some sort of base to prevent it from traveling up the rectum and getting lost up there.  Any type of anal vibrator should have a base that flares wider or cord as a stopper to prevent taking a unexpected visit to the emergency room. haha
  • Couples. Couples toys are where it vibrates the clitoris while being penetrated. OR! It could be something as simple as Cock Ring that stimulates the male’s anatomy and their partner at the same time.

This is the biggest way to narrow down your options.  I have a lot of customers just say to me “I want a vibrator”… which I respond with “alright so did you have any toy in mind or what type of toy? or what type of stimulation on the body you want to be working with?” 😀 Then, I get the WORST answer back, “I don’t care, I just want a vibrator”. COOL. Now keep in mind, if you say something like that… it’s like walking into a clothing store and being like I WANT A SHIRT! THAT HAS A HOLE FOR MY HEAD! AND I WANT TO PUT MY ARMS IN IT TOO!”  … so bland…. so nondescriptive. I’m here to help you not waste your money and make you have a GREAT NIGHT.  Just figure out what you want out of something, it takes 5 minutes out of your day and chances are you’ll get something great!

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NEXT! What type of INTENSITY would you like the vibration, different pulsation patterns or power source be like!?

There are two types of vibrations *IN MY OPINION* I made up names for them just like my “firstie” term.  I call them Buzzie Buzzers and Thumpers. The more contact you have with toys you will figure out the difference.  Some people like a softer buzz, speedy and faster vibrations which I call  Buzzie Buzzers. Other people like a more deep, tick tock almost thump like type of vibration which I call Thumpers.  Buzzers are usually lower on the totem pole and thumpers are more intense and require a larger supply of battery juice.  The Intensity of the vibrations vary with different speeds, pulsation patterns and usually the battery source determines how strong it will be as well.

You should start with a toy that has various speeds, pulsations or variable speed control to determine what you truly like.  The only downer about figuring out the INTENSITY section is usually you need to feel the vibrator in person.  Rarely do reviewers and website descriptions know or will tell you. (KEEP IN MIND…. if you really want to know  just ask me! 😉 I’ll tell ya! Jade@hankypankyharlot.com) The reason I say this is because every person’s body is different and some people react differently to different thumpy or buzzy vibrations .. LIKE some get numb. Then, what’s the point of even using a toy! lol our point is to feel things and a lot of the times a big PHAT orgasm is what we are trying to achieve and how are you going to get around to that if you’re numb.

S and~! What SIZE and/OR STYLE are you looking for?  The size of the vibrator matters in case you need it to be hidden and discreet .  If you would like it be small and fit in the palm of your hand or large enough to get a good grip.  Did you want something that is more realistic and phallic? Or did you want a toy that is more ergonomically shaped and modern?

The style also determines what type of material you would like since the materials determine if the look of the toy is squishy or solid!  Bendable or Hard! Clear or Solid Color!

Style also determines the color! I always  say, just because it’s a SEX toy doesn’t mean it isn’t a toy.  When you pick a toy, you pick it because it’s visually appealing to you and that makes a lot of a difference.  It’s just like picking a partner, you want to make sure you are attracted to it or else your new B.O.B. will just be hidden away in a drawer some where.

SS and LAST BUT OHH SO IMPORTANT.  How much do you want to SPEND? This is all up to your discretion. Just keep in mind you get what you pay for.  The quality of a toy’s workmanship, battery source and it’s materials make a difference. Being cheap is ALWAYS nice but don’t be upset when what you got isn’t the best or what you were really looking for.

From here you can narrow down the list and go further into the type of materials, how high maintenance it will be and how you would like to get that sex toy revving it’s engine… battery powered or possibly rechargeable. 🙂

Now you have an idea of how to pick your new toy, now it’s time to find the right one for you!

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