All posts by Hanky Panky Harlot

I’m just a girl that likes bunnies and unicorns. I wanted a piece of webspace to talk about sex n stuff. I think sex toys are a better investment than buying a new curling iron. I think porn is rocking...& um..PENIS

I don’t feel comfortable being topless yet.

You helped me find lingerie 2 years ago and found me some sexy lingerie that worked with my body.  I got My boobs done and now I have more options, the thing is My scarring around my nipples are still showing a lot. Is there a bra top that you’d recommend?  I don’t feel comfortable being topless yet.

Hello sweetheart!

First, Congrats on the boob job!  That’s awesome you decided to enhance your body on how you see fit.   I know you want a lingerie piece but have you thought of pasties? And if you want to be even more sexier, have you seen skin adornments or skin jewelry?

You’d be able to wear whatever you want, your nipples will still show, your new boobies can show, all while your scars are somewhat hidden.  Camouflaged, would be the best word to describe it.

My favorite brand to recommend is Bijoux Indiscrets.  A company who combines classy and sexy. Their skin jewelry is very similar to pasties, that adhesives to the skin but doesn’t cover the nipple completely.  These type of skin jewelry adorns and highlights the nipple without concealing one’s natural beauty.

Check out: Shop.bijouxindiscrets.com/usa/en/accessories/lingerie-accessories/skin-jewelry.html

If that doesn’t appeal to you, you can always wear bodystocking or mesh materials that covers like a soft screen over your body that still show your body without showing your scars.

“Love Between the Covers”

Reading seems to be lost in this world of every growing youtube videos, inspirational instagram posts and other blurb like media.

Rarely do I mention to people that I like to read, because then the next question that everyone always asks is “oh yah!?!?! What are you reading right now?” Or “what genre do you like to read?”.   Then,  the inevitable awkward pause initiates, where I have to evaluate if I want to shock them, if they are cool and wouldn’t mind to hear what I have to say or the possibility of having the same genre preferences.

SMUT. Erotic Romance. With a side order of historical significance or fantasy. I like it, love it, gotta have it.

HAHA. You’d be surprised how many people read romance novels or anything of the erotic variety. I just watched a documentary that I came across that is available on Netflix called, “Love Between the Sheets”.   It was awesome!  

At one point in the documentary, they mentioned how easily accessible this genre of books are available now.  I can’t go into my nearest bookstore chain and find the first book of a series… EVER.  So, I’ve converted to the e-reader world.  I have the first and every book there after at my fingertips.  The moment I finish one book, I can be on to the next one in a heartbeat.  Being able to read it in a moments notice or be able to take it with me anywhere AND without having the cheesy book covers either!   Being at an airport or public place where everyone is completely nosey and want to know what you’re reading and take a quick peek at the cover.

I particularly don’t care but there are many out there who do.  Being able to read a book completely mobile and NOW knowing that there is a big following as well is such a great feeling.  There are so many women out there that love reading this genre and we don’t even know it. Kind of Iike a secret society.  Soooooo many walks of life. It’s refreshing.  With all these inspiring writers allowing us readers to read their work is such an great opportunity and privilege.

If you have some time and like documentaries, check out this glimpse into the world of the women who create and consume romance novels.

My GF asked me to get her a dildo. I keep striking out. What do I get?

My girlfriend asked me to get her a dildo. I keep striking out. What do I get?

My advice is to buy one together.  Communication is always key.  It’s super hard to make decisions sometimes… I’m a prime example of indecisive girl.  So I KNOW!

You probably just want to go in the store, buy it and be done with the Dildo mission.  But, next time why don’t you guys pre-party and go to a sex shop together.  You might not even buy anything at the time but you guys can window shop and look at various shapes, sizes, colors, vibrating or non-vibrating dildos.  See what’s out there and do the lovely process of elimination.  I say go into a shop since shopping online gets a bit hectic with having so many options.

While, you’re at it… Whisper sweet nastiness in her ear of how you can’t wait to see her use it while you’re shopping. If she’s freaky like that.   Or be a concerning partner, and ask her what she thinks would feel good or is body-safe.

Or if all else fails. Grab a Clone-a-Willy kit! It’s a kit to mold your penis and bam! Dildo á la you! They also have the option for a vibrating version of you! The Kits comes in regular flesh tones and vibrant glow-in-dark colors too.  This will not only get giggles out of her but it shows that you put effort into getting her a dildo.  A LOT of effort since you got to take some time out of your day and stick your dick in a tube with some gunk.  Haha

I know you wanted me to just say THIS IS THE —ONE— MAGICAL DILDO that all FEMALES WANT! But sorry not sorry, there are too many dildos in the world… just like humans. Too many opinions. Too many choices.

Hit me back up if you got any more info I can work with to help you with the process of elimination.

Earth Day: Gaia Eco Biodegradable Vibrator by Blush Novelties

Tomorrow is Earth Day. We always try and find ways to reduce our footprint with everyday activities, but what about our nighttime activities?  So, I’d like to introduce to some of you a great way to reduce your footprint on this lovely planet we call home.  Instead of adding to the landfills, that probably have massive amounts of dildos and vibes in the mix. Check out…

The first biodegradable and recyclable vibrator.  The Gaia Eco brought to you by Blush Novelties.

This slimline style sex toy is a vibrator that is made from Biofeel, a starch based bioplastic aka PLA.  Made from renewable resources such as corn starch, cassava(Tapioca) roots, or sugarcane depending on where it’s made, this allows it to be biodegradable.  Having a toy that is made from renewable resources puts your mind at ease and Wall-E thanks you.


Now to the good part, Gaia Eco is a nice 7” long slimline vibe with an insertable length of 5.75” and 1” width.  It has a turn style base to twist on the multi speed vibrations perfect from internal or external stimulation. For the vibration, it only takes 2 AA batteries and comes in 3 soft colors to choose from: a pretty Pink, a neutral pistachio Green, and a Martha Stewart Sky Blue.

If you’re looking for a new basic vibrator that Captain Planet would approve of, this is it, the Gaia Eco.

Happy Earth Day, and after planting a tree, creating a compost pile and other earth DAY activities, think about getting this biodegradable sex toy.  Your nighttime activities doesn’t have to kill the earth at the same time. 😛

 

Yeast is the Beast by Love Bug Probiotics: Mission Initiated

If you are a Vagina owner, sometimes you go through so many emotions owning one.  At times, you feel like a queen of the world being an empowered goddess who have the magical ability to have multiple orgasms while you stand at the top of your pedestal… Pointing…. and laughing at the penis owners at their orgasm ratios in comparison to your golden pussy.  Other times, you want to dump your vagina on the side of the road and hope for an upgrade since they can be such a temperamental possession to own.

Urinary Tract Infections – Bacterial vaginosis – Yeast Infections.

The trio of death that can arise at any given moment and  Sometimes, even just the thought of some nasty dirty sex adventure fantasies in your head automatically gives you a UTI, BV or YI.  You can just breathe and your vagina decides to do whatever the hell it wants.

If I can help my vag health to prevent those dreaded situations, why not!  I’ve mentioned to many girls, your sexual health also reflects what you put into your body and self-care.   I have a regimen of pills I take to supplement my body but I always like to see what else I can get myself into.   I always like to try new things and let you guys know what I’m getting into.  My current probiotic is running low and  I discovered Love Bug Probiotics a little while back.  I was investigating and this might be my next venture.

Mission Try Yeast is the Beast by LoveBug Probiotics Supplement Initiated!

 

This proprietary blend of probiotics is designed to promote optimal urinary tract health. It contains Lactobacillus strains that work to produce lactic acid, lowering the pH of the vagina to make it acidic and therefore inhospitable to harmful pathogens. Additionally, the novel Cran-Gyn™ (Cranberry Extract) additive helps squelch growth of bad bacteria from taking hold; it contains cranberry extract and D-mannose.

Yeast is a Beast can also help streamline a woman’s digestive function, immune response and yeast levels. Like our other probiotics, this supplement incorporates BIO-tract® technology to ensure as many organisms survive digestion and reach the digestive tract to do their work.

On top of my current eating habits, that vary from great to not so great leaning on horrible. Haha I like to take supplements for preventative measures.  “Yeast is the Beast” seems like a blend of preventative measures and solution.  This particular blend includes D-mannose, a natural supplement that my co-worker swears by when dealing with UTIs.  I’m willing to try it even after knowing in some people D-mannose may cause diarrhea, loose stool and bloating.  But, everyone reacts differently.

On their website they have a plan, where monthly you’d have a 30 day supply delivered to you, free shipping on all orders, a 3 month gut-health learning course, monthly health and nutrition newsletters, exclusive access to product promotions and the ability to cancel anytime.  This plan is $27.95 but if you want to save a buck (literally) it is available on Amazon for  $26.95.   I might dive into their plan going direct with them since  for another dollar, I can get their learning course, newsletter and I can just cancel if it’s not my thing.

I’m planning on swooping this up in a week and i’ll track my progression with you all to see if you might want in on this. 🙂

My hands are so rough…What does a girl have to do to give him a handjob without feeling like a cheese grater?

“…It’s embarrassing. My hands are so rough because of  work and they are rougher than his.  I want to touch him without being embarrassed. What does a girl have to do to give him a handjob without feeling like a cheese grater?  I’m sure his penis is confused when I give him a blowjob since my hand feels like a man but my mouth feels like a woman…”

Holy crap, woman. I love you hahaha You went from 0 to 100 and it made reading my messages so entertaining this morning. For once it’s not another butt stuff question. Haha. First off, I think you are fabulous for being a woman who works with her hands.

I’m sure everyone and their moms are telling you with their bougie voices, “OHHHH just get a manicure!!!” 0_0 I get it. You’re not alone, I have a body builder galfriend who has the same woes as you. Manicures aren’t going to fix the constant roughness and I don’t expect you to plan your sex life around your last skin treatment.

Like most things in the adult toy industry, there are products out there that you didn’t even know existed. Haha Some require a bit of prep work and are a bit …different looking.  I know in the back of your head, you’re wishing you could just replace your hands or cove glove and you’re good! …and when I say funky… I really mean it.

The reason I think they are funky isn’t because of their purpose, it’s because I’m judging a book by its cover.  They make it so you have to literally put yourself out there and put on your most sexy face on, put some skanky lingerie and some “f*ck me” hells on because the contraptions look like your going to attack his junk and it’s gonna hurt hahaha it’s not… but it looks like it.  I don’t personally know you but from what you’re asking for these might not be it. But I’m gonna show you anyways so I’m not leaving anything out. This gloves are literally squishy similar to the material of stretchy cock rings. So, you’d have to lube your hands up a bit to put it on or else your hands are going to be skidding on in. Then, you lube up his member with a water-based lubricant and get down to handjob town. They can be used on you as well, if you like to play crotch dj on yourself. BUT, they look like a hot mess. Almost like you’re trying too hard, which isn’t sexy. Thus, the reason why you might have to compensate looking sexy because this glove will put you down a few notches on the sexy scale. Haha He might not even think it’s that big of deal in comparison to you. But let’s keep the ball rolling.

What I’d love to recommend is just getting a sleeve. They come in all shapes, colors, sizes, and various textures. It’s a bit easier to just grab a sleeve, insert it and stroke it. Sleeves also allow you to be able to gauge on how much pressure you’d like to give him.

Made by the folks at Blush Novelties, this small stroker enhances a handy with its ribbed inside and is Glow in the Dark!

I think the ones that literally the size of your palms and are only a couple of inches are perfect! It won’t take away too much from the visual appeal of the hand job and make it look like you aren’t shoving his dick in some weird rubber orfice.

The ultimate BJ Helper from Doc Johnson. A small sleeve with soft massaging beads inside to give great shaft pleasure.

These smaller sleeves are great if you want to do a handjob and blowjob combo since it allows space for your mouth on top. Which is also helpful if you want the effect that you’re deepthroating but you just can’t get it all in there so you can stroke the shaft and give him pleasure that way as well.

Softest glove you’ll ever love! Haha Simple and straight to the point. It’s a masturbation sleeve. That’s all haha

There are longer sleeve for the more well endowed man… OR! To cover the penis completely and won’t let your hand scrape him up “cheese grater style”. Haha 😛 It also is nice to give a great massage on the head of the penis going up and down since it’ll feel like its being inserted into whatever hole his imagination is working with.

This stroker has been a big seller to many men. Doc Johnson got it right when it came to this one for the larger penis owners. 😀

Keep in mind some of the longer sleeves have an open end and others have a closed end for easier cleanup.

Vibrates has this “love glove” called Maven and it’s a closed ended masturbation sleeve. It looks like a some sea creature out of water but it does the trick!

 

Oldie but goodie! This has been around for awhile but customer keep coming back for it.

You could also just go the Fleshlight route but it really depends because it’s not in true handy-fashion. Haha

If you feel you can get away with trying a super awesome lubricant. Why not try using Stroke 29.

This masturbation cream has one mission in life and that is just to stroke a dick. It’s not made for sex or condoms but it’s a hit for a man’s solo time!

This masturbation cream  has natural oils in it so I don’t recommend hopping on after your hand-y session since it’ll mess up with your vag’s ph balance.  Stick to hands since the ingredients aren’t compatible with normal stuff like condoms.  This cream gives enough friction to give pleasure but glides for great sensation. I’ve had several male customers become fans of it.

I gave a handful of suggestions of adult products you can try. You can snag any of these online or at your nearest adult boutique. They will have many other similar items. Just remember if you guys have a latex allergy you might have to choice a stroker made out of silicone (I can send recommendations if that’s the case). I commend you for trying your best to pleasure your man even against all odds haha and I hope this helped! <3


If anyone would like to try out a trial size packet of Stroke 29, I can snail mail it to you! Just send me a $1 for postage 😀

Go to: https://cash.me/$hankypankyharlot and under “optional note” write your Name & mailing address! <3 I’ll mail it the following day!

“I lost my Magic Wand charging cord when I moved, where can I get a replacement?”

“I lost my Magic Wand charging cord when I moved, where can I get a replacement? “

Toys nowadays are transitioning into the lovely rechargeable era.  Where the whole toy or partial of the toy is rechargeable. As much as we want to say Sayonara to batteries… there are moments like these when we will still need them or want to praise them.  Like when? The times when you forget to charge your toy OR the lovely times when you lose the charging cord and you just need a quickie! Haha

I’ve lost a bunch of chargers before haha but thank god the other toys I have from the line are compatible. The same can’t be said for the Magic Wand rechargeable version. Haha It’s a pretty unique charger so…

This post is for the THREE lovely ladies that misplaced your cord!  Don’t toss your Rechargeable Magic Wand out just yet!  and don’t fret and listen to all those other people who keep telling you that you “HAVE” to just buy a new Magic wand.  Save your moneyzzzz!

Check out the Good Vibrations website!
They sell just the charger cable cord by itself!
It’s only $24.95 

There are other websites that sell the charging cord but they are a smidgen higher in price.

 

I know some of you hate buying things online, so I’m working on getting it in person but if you want it ASAP,  snag a cord from the reputable Good Vibrations website.

Hope that helps out you wand princesses!

Treat Yo Self: A Self-love and masturbation workshop

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve done a workshop.  What better way to get back into it than to feature it on Self-Love and Masturbation!  Something fun and perfect for errrr-body!

This is one of those moments where we are going to acknowledge that not only is masturbation important but the small things that make us feel good.  I hate saying the phrase “Self-Love” since it sounds cheesey but it’s the one thing many people don’t think do on a daily basis.  They think of others, they expect love from someone else but what they fail to realize is their own love for their selves matter more.  Going out of your way to do or get material things that make you smile, needs to happen every once and awhile.  Reward yourself for little accomplishments and life becomes THAT much more brighter!

Got out of bed? Have an orgasm! Lol Let’s snag yourself a new vibe, get a new lube,  find different ways to crotch dj it up! Come stop by and treat yo self!

 

WeVibe Charger Cable Hack

When you buy something new and exciting, you automatically think of all the cool new features and tech-y things it can do.  Our minds tend to slip of the information and the things that come along with it like up keep, warranties, etc. etc.  Then, the one main feature is the one thing that might hinder your use of it or even annoy you, like being rechargeable.

One of my favorite adult toy companies out there is We Vibe but sometimes their charging cord and adapter really likes to irk me at times, almost as much as Fun Factory’s charging adapter too.  Both have a magnetic adapter that snaps together connect the USB power cord to the toy.

So you can imagine my frustration when, I’ve walked away for a couple hours with the thought in mind that my toy is comfortably charging this entire time… to come back and find that it’s completely dead still since I didn’t have the connectors hit perfectly.

The cords have been wrapped tight to be shipped and stored away in the pretty packaging but it takes a hot minute for it to unwrap, de-kink and stay straight.  You can always go the “Put a heavy book on it route” or! You can do my little troubleshooting hack!

Very rarely do I recommend you to keep the box to a toy (unless they are the crazy type that require to have it for their warranty) .  But this time I think it’s a great idea if you have a Wevibe Tango or Touch!  The box it comes in has the perfect small indention for the cord to weave through and it won’t wiggle like a worm.   Just a small hack I tend to do when the cords just don’t seem to like to stay in place. ;P If you decorate the box, it also help for discretion while charging.

Hope that helps all you kiddos out there! <3 <3 <3

What perfume do you wear?

I went into Excitement with my girlfriend and she mentioned she liked your perfume. I want to get her perfume for Valentine’s Day and want that one. What perfume do you wear?

Awww YOU SMELLed ME!! *flattered* haha 😂  Aren’t you an observant and thoughtful fella!  Fragrances are always a nice go-to for Valentine’s Day gifts.  They are also extremely hard to buy since not all smells mix well with a person’s own scent. I wish I could’ve made this easier on you but, It really depends on when you came in.   So, I’m just gonna give you a list and you gotta go into a store and sniff them if you can remember Haha OR you can tell me when you came in and that can determine what I was wearing.

Top notes: A mojito-inspired sensual blend of crushed mint leaves warmed by brown sugar and missed with the zest of Italian Limone. Middle notes: Feminine floral notes emerge with joyous hints of Jasmine, dew of Peony and traces of pink pepper. Bottom notes: The signature Mediterranean trail is rooted by the hearts of cedar wood and Labdanum.

If it was last year, I was wearing Giorgio Armani’s Acqua di Gioia.  I’ve been using that on and off for the past 3 years.   I received it as a present for Christmas and I got stuck on it for awhile.  If that was it, lucky for you, they have a cute ACQUA DI GIOIA VALENTINE’S DAY SET on their website with a bunch of other doo-dads.

Top notes: Rhubarb, Red Currant, Juicy Kiwi Accord Heart notes: Pink Cyclamen, Fresh Watermelon Accord Base notes: Musky Notes, Sandalwood, Grapefruit Wood

If you came in this year I’ve been switching it up a bit.  But usually, during the week,  I wear D&G 3 L’Imperatrice Eau de Toilette.  Dolce & Gabbana used to have a line of fragrances with a bunch of numbers, where you could mix the scents and they were unisex.  I loved them all.  But, they discontinued all but 1 of them, the #3 and I can only find mine at Sephora and Ulta. I’ve noticed people always compliment me more when I wear this one.

Top Notes: Seductive notes:Joyful carefreeness, explosion of caramel Mid Notes: Powdery notes: Sophistication, cocktail of musks Base notes: Vanilla notes: Sensuality, Benjoin Overdose

If I smelled a bit sweeter, it might have been my Prada Candy.  Which I like to wear on days I’m feeling a bit more femme and need snugs haha.  This one is easier to find like in department stores. This scent is always fun since they do fragrance sets as well during the Valentine season.

On top of that sometimes, I love putting on Pure Instinct, which is a pheromone roll-on I love to recommend.  The scent varies from person to person since it adapts to your own scent to arouse a potential mate.  I’ve noticed a lot of waitresses, bartenders and exotic dancers like to wear this since it increases their tips. 😛

I hope that was helpful and I hope you both have an amazing Valentine’s Day!!! ❤️❤️❤️