Category Archives: Handy Guides & Kits

Consensual Sex Activity Check off List

alright aaaaaaaalright, I’m FINALLY posting this up.

It’s a Consensual Sex Activity list!  This is a basic list that has activities where you can see what might interest you or not.

I know that a lot of people find these type of lists silly, but I find that it really helps when you want to talk to your partner when you want to see what they are all about and vice versa.

When, you discuss this with your partner.  Come into this with an open mind and heart.  There may be things that you are into which will make your partner cringe.  OR enhance the relationship. If you haven’t tried it, but know it will be hot to try out with your partner since they might be into it, put it in the neutral or maybe yes column.  Then, Research! and see if that might be something you’d really be down with.

The, Maybe No’s and definite No’s are a great way to communicate and start discussing with your partner. It will open a line of communication where you will both either agree on the same thing or form an understanding of why one partner might be so into such activity.  You may not even know that there is something out there that exists and might spark that bedroom adventure spark!

Click here to download:
Consensual Sex Activity Check off List

Just filling out the list is almost as awkward as having the talk with you partner, if you aren’t at that level yet.  A fun way to make it into a game is to fill them out.  Then, cut out the Definite Yes! activities and put it into a jar and when you guys want to plan your next sex adventure you can just draw out one of the activities from the jar to try out and to keep things interesting.  The, Maybe and neutrals can be done when you’re feeling extra adventurous.  But, of course please plan accordingly haha.

😉

Let these Basics take over your Senses this Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s day is just around the corner and a mix of emotions might be coming over you.  You either love the holiday or loathe it.  Since everyone associates Valentine’s Day with going over the top with materialistic things, they usually end up with gifts that are literally going to add pounds to your bum or end up in the trash two days later.   What people forget is that Valentine’s Day is about showing your feelings to your partner and expressing it in every way possible whether it’s physical or mentally.

Couples tend to forget that going back to the basics can be the most effective way to connect with each other.  The simplest, most basic little notions might be the trick to spice things up instead of going over the top with sky writing and cutting down every flower within a ten mile radius.

Let’s face it – Valentine’s Day “kits” tend to be a little much, but it is all about how you use them.   These cheesey yet most effective sensual tools will create a different experience and light that flame of passion.

Be prepared with everything beforehand, whether that means having the array of “tools” you might want to indulge in handy as well as knowing how to use said tools.  Even though, this is one day out of the year that you want to make special, it’d be nice to grab fun stuff that you’ll be able to use again and again. So, grab that pad of paper and pencil and jot down a  sexy shopping list with some of these fun bedroom props.

Let your bodies do the talking and put those 5 senses to good use!

 

Best Strap on & Pegging Positions!

Once you’re strapped and are ready to go.  You might pre-game by stretching and thinking about up-ing your yoga game.  Until you really start humping with a strap-on harness, you honestly never appreciate a guy’s skill at swinging those hips or their stamina.

Probably why guys are so much better at twerking than girls… believe it or not.  In case you need some positions that are better for helping top your bottom, jot this positions in your memory!

These are just the basics of all the positions. You can always just switch things up a bit on the whim.

Hopefully this helped ya out a bit and keep pillows handy!

Guide to Picking a Vibrator

This guide to be used like a checkoff list on how to pick a vibrator …whether it’s your next new addition to the toy box OR IF IT’S YOUR FIRSTIE!! *tosses confetti in the air*

SO MANY things pop in your head when someone brings up the term vibrators since there is such an array of sex toy vibrators out there.  The reason for that is because there are so many ways to stimulate a person’s body and everyone is different on what type of stimulation they might want! I’m just going to go over the basic ways to picking a vibrator.

Vibrators are any type of gadget that creates vibrations that can be used to stimulate the body’s nerves and erogenous zones.  (Keep in mind there are many other sex toys out there that do not have vibrations… but we’ll get to that another time.)KISS

So, when you are choosing a Vibrator, I stick to the acronym K.I.S.S…. similar to the Keep it simple stupid motto. Which you might need to remember when picking your first toy.  You don’t need to buy the first toy you see that has all the bell ‘n whistles and shoots lasers but if you want to TREAT YO SELF, go right ahead!  So, stick with this guideline and it’ll make picking your next toy LOADS easier.

K

 First! What KIND of stimulation would you like and where would you like to stimulate?  This is usually the highest priority when choosing your vibrator. There are many toys that do the same thing or might multi-task but one toy might work better than another stimulating a certain area. So, what erogenous zone are you aiming to stimulate?

  • External Stimulation AKA Clitoral.  There are toys specifically made for just clitoral but pretty much any toy that vibrates can be used for Clitoral.
  • Internal Stimulation.  These are insertable vibrators that can give a type of stimulation that give a full feeling or to vibrate the inner walls.  They come in many shapes but majority are almost phallic or just plain elongated to make insertion easier.
  • Both Internal and External Stimulation. I usually say this is for the greedy girls and know how to get the job done! It’s where you have an insertable shaft and a piece that extends and vibrates the clitoris at the same time. This type of dual stimulation usually is the rabbit.
  • G-Spot.  These are vibrators that are curved upward geared to massage the G-spot. They have almost a hook like appearance to be able to reach up and forward to massage.
  • Anal. These toys are made to be inserted anally and usually have some sort of base to prevent it from traveling up the rectum and getting lost up there.  Any type of anal vibrator should have a base that flares wider or cord as a stopper to prevent taking a unexpected visit to the emergency room. haha
  • Couples. Couples toys are where it vibrates the clitoris while being penetrated. OR! It could be something as simple as Cock Ring that stimulates the male’s anatomy and their partner at the same time.

This is the biggest way to narrow down your options.  I have a lot of customers just say to me “I want a vibrator”… which I respond with “alright so did you have any toy in mind or what type of toy? or what type of stimulation on the body you want to be working with?” 😀 Then, I get the WORST answer back, “I don’t care, I just want a vibrator”. COOL. Now keep in mind, if you say something like that… it’s like walking into a clothing store and being like I WANT A SHIRT! THAT HAS A HOLE FOR MY HEAD! AND I WANT TO PUT MY ARMS IN IT TOO!”  … so bland…. so nondescriptive. I’m here to help you not waste your money and make you have a GREAT NIGHT.  Just figure out what you want out of something, it takes 5 minutes out of your day and chances are you’ll get something great!

I

NEXT! What type of INTENSITY would you like the vibration, different pulsation patterns or power source be like!?

There are two types of vibrations *IN MY OPINION* I made up names for them just like my “firstie” term.  I call them Buzzie Buzzers and Thumpers. The more contact you have with toys you will figure out the difference.  Some people like a softer buzz, speedy and faster vibrations which I call  Buzzie Buzzers. Other people like a more deep, tick tock almost thump like type of vibration which I call Thumpers.  Buzzers are usually lower on the totem pole and thumpers are more intense and require a larger supply of battery juice.  The Intensity of the vibrations vary with different speeds, pulsation patterns and usually the battery source determines how strong it will be as well.

You should start with a toy that has various speeds, pulsations or variable speed control to determine what you truly like.  The only downer about figuring out the INTENSITY section is usually you need to feel the vibrator in person.  Rarely do reviewers and website descriptions know or will tell you. (KEEP IN MIND…. if you really want to know  just ask me! 😉 I’ll tell ya! Jade@hankypankyharlot.com) The reason I say this is because every person’s body is different and some people react differently to different thumpy or buzzy vibrations .. LIKE some get numb. Then, what’s the point of even using a toy! lol our point is to feel things and a lot of the times a big PHAT orgasm is what we are trying to achieve and how are you going to get around to that if you’re numb.

S and~! What SIZE and/OR STYLE are you looking for?  The size of the vibrator matters in case you need it to be hidden and discreet .  If you would like it be small and fit in the palm of your hand or large enough to get a good grip.  Did you want something that is more realistic and phallic? Or did you want a toy that is more ergonomically shaped and modern?

The style also determines what type of material you would like since the materials determine if the look of the toy is squishy or solid!  Bendable or Hard! Clear or Solid Color!

Style also determines the color! I always  say, just because it’s a SEX toy doesn’t mean it isn’t a toy.  When you pick a toy, you pick it because it’s visually appealing to you and that makes a lot of a difference.  It’s just like picking a partner, you want to make sure you are attracted to it or else your new B.O.B. will just be hidden away in a drawer some where.

SS and LAST BUT OHH SO IMPORTANT.  How much do you want to SPEND? This is all up to your discretion. Just keep in mind you get what you pay for.  The quality of a toy’s workmanship, battery source and it’s materials make a difference. Being cheap is ALWAYS nice but don’t be upset when what you got isn’t the best or what you were really looking for.

From here you can narrow down the list and go further into the type of materials, how high maintenance it will be and how you would like to get that sex toy revving it’s engine… battery powered or possibly rechargeable. 🙂

Now you have an idea of how to pick your new toy, now it’s time to find the right one for you!

Guide to Cleaning your Sex Toys!

Along with using a toy, you have to make sure you clean it properly! I mean, HELLO, with all these toys being put in places and orifices and juices flying left and right… I would think you would want to keep it clean. 😛

Seriously though, by cleaning your sex toys this helps avoid bacterial  and yeast infections along with annoying irritation.  Even the slightest bit of residue may cause irritation and that will delay your fun for a later time (and we wouldn’t want that).
  • Cleaning your toy also helps avoid transmission of STIs. “While some STIs die once the fluid they live in dries, others (such as hepatitis and scabies) can live for weeks or months outside of the body. ” (0_0)  (I suggest if you do decide to share toys, use glass, silicone or hard acrylic. minimal porous factor = less icky germs hiding)
  • Store your sex toys in a dry, cool place. Heat and direct sunlight may cause damage to your toy!
  • Just by cleaning your toy, it can also elongate the life span of your toy! You did spend some money on the toy, how about make it stick around longer.
  • Keep in mind, some hard plastic toys have a soft touch coating and if you aren’t careful that soft texture will disappear if you clean it with harsh cleaning products.
Depending on the material of your toy, there are different methods to go around cleaning the toy.  But, usually a nice toy cleaner will do the trick. Here’s a rundown on ways to keep it clean or if you want to get real in depth, kiddos!
There are two ways to go:  Just the regular ol’ Anti-bacterial soap route and Sex Toy cleaners.
First, If you have any type of batteries in there, take them out!
soap
  • Anti-bacterial soap!  A fragrance-free HAND anti-bacterial soap is what I’m talking about. Nothing too harsh So STOP! and put that dishwashing soap, laundry soap, purell, alcohol etc etc… away! (…yes, I’ve heard them all lol)  Now, The main active ingredient usually is  triclosan or triclocarbon, these require at least 2minutes on the surface to really kill the bacteria. So, rinse off the toy and get any visible debris and cover the toy with soap.  Leave for a few minutes and then give it a little rub down.  Rinse the toy thoroughly and make sure it’s suds free!  Leaving soap residue sometimes causes irritation and that’s just plain not fun!
  • cleaners
    Sex Toy Cleaner
    ! Read the directions thoroughly.  Some sex toy cleaners only require you to spritz it and wipe down with a damp cloth.  Others like the foaming cleaners are just like cleaning with an anti-bacterial soap like the directions above.

After, you are done washing it, wipe it dry completely with a soft cloth that is preferably lint-free. Or you can dry it off as much as you can and leave it to air-dry.  But be sure that is completely dry before storing it, it helps to decrease the chances of mold and bacteria growth.

It’s recommended to clean your toy BEFORE and AFTER each time you use your toy.  But, let’s get real… who really wants to go clean a toy right after cumming?  So, for all those lazy bums who will get around to rinsing them down later, a quick fix is to get wipes.

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 Find out what type of material your toy is! It really helps determine if you can really deep clean it or not!
If you have a squishy Rubber, Plastic,  Elastomer or Jelly toy, these are made from materials that are porous which  makes dirt, germ-ies, and bacteria hide!  So, if you can put a condom on it and it’ll minimize the cleaning factor too!
If you have a Silicone, Glass or Stainless Steel toy there are a few ways to deep clean your toy!  These are my #1 favorite toys to recommend for the hypochondriacs and germaphobes.  These toys are non-porous and make bacteria hate life since they do not have any place to hide.  So, besides doing the regular ol’ wash down mentioned above…
If your toy isn’t battery operated or have any type of electronic/rechargeable system
  •  they can be sterilized by boiling it for 8-10 minutes,  It helps to wrap the toy in a hand towel or in a veggie steamer basket so it doesn’t touch the bottom of the pan.
  • You can run it through the dishwasher without any soap to sterilize it with steam!
  • OR you can soak your toys 15-30 minutes with the solutions below and rinse.
    • 10% bleach and water solution
    • 10% alcohol  and water solution

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Realistic Material (Cyberskin, UR3, Soft Touch, Futurotic, and Neoskin) toys, These are those materials that really do feel like human skin, all soft like a baby’s bottom. 😛  These toys are usually the realistic dongs  or  love dolls and male masturbation sleeves.
9772_2After you clean your toy, you’ll automatically get a “WTF” moment if you’ve never experienced these type of toys.  They get gummi feeling and sticky feeling similar to those cool sticky hands we used to have as kids.   Many people don’t ask questions and toss the toy lol  BUT don’t fret! To get the refreshed look and feeling that makes the cyberskin feel soft again, dust UR3 powder or corn starch on the toy (especially before storing it).  I found that getting a large ziplock bag and throwing the toy in the bag and shaking it with a little bit of UR3 Powder or corn starch on the bottom, makes the job easier. Think… *shake and bake*.
 I’ve found that for masturbation sleeves, especially the closed ended kind are harder to clean.  Try to clean it immediately or it helps to let it soak in a warm bowl or sink with a little dab of toy cleaner. It helps break down and loosen up deposits inside the male masturbators to rinse out easier.  You can clean these with a sex toy cleaner or with warm water and antibacterial soap.  But focus more on just the rinsing with water.  They don’t require TONS of soap since this material breaks down faster.   Allow a sufficient amount of time for the toy to dry.  Depending on your climate, you may want to pat it down a lot before air drying.  I’ve had a few guys tell me their toy got mold since they didn’t dry it thoroughly.  Keep in mind they were in a colder climate as well, but you are sticking your junk into it sooooooo, I think holding the mold might be better. 😉
I know tons of people who don’t use a specific cleaner made for Sex toys,  since it’s pretty much the same thing.   But I’ve noticed that my ‘lil high maintenance vajay is a bit more sensitive and regular hand soap for  some reason irritates me when I use the toy after I’ve washed it.  I can hose it down with a air pressure washer and I still have the same results so I’ve just stuck with my good ol’ Foaming toy cleaner by Jo.

Guide to choosing a Lube!

 Click to Enlarge!
How to choose a lube copy

Anal Sex Kit

High Maintenance Harlot Bich here… So Anal Sex is gonna happen and I hate being unprepared, so I came up with this kit you should gather up. There are 3 Necessities!

  1. Moist towelettes
  2. Tons of Condoms
  3. LUBE!

I have my preferences but i’m always open to hear more. 😀 I know i’m not the only princess out there who feels like there are essentials in life to make things a little more manageable.

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