Category Archives: Reviews

Sex Toy Review | Crave Vesper

I was having a monotonous Monday morning until my partner walked through the door and dropped this gem in my hand.  A super surprise that made my heart skip a beat.  No reason, just because! But, I saw the box and automatically knew what it was.  A fashionable yet functional vibrator necklace by Crave! Who needs flowers when I can have a bouquet of orgasms instead! 😀

#Bae😍 rolled through today & added a @lovecrave #Vesper to my collection. #giftoforgasms #rosegold #bulletvibe #vesperstyle #necklace 😻💓💦

A post shared by 💕💖💜💛🐰🌸Xox Jade🌸 🐙💛💜💖💕 (@hankypankyharlot) on


 

Over 6 years ago, this company started their vision by crowdfunding their way into one of the most elegant and innovative toy companies in the market.  I love that they started from the bottom and now they have such a beautiful selection of vibrators.

It’s very rare that I can describe a Sex Toy… beautiful but it really is.  Their chic and sleek products looks define their image. This puts my mind at ease as a consumer and draws me to them.


The Vesper is a slim bullet vibrator that duals as an eloquent piece of jewelry as well.  Made from Stainless steel and plated with sterling silver.  I got the one accented with rose gold. *flips hair like I’m fancy chic or something*  The top  of the toy and the lovely  26″ length chain is in the rose gold.  The rest of its body with a whopping 3.8 inches in length is in the super silver!  The surface is smooth and glides over your skin or stays put if you want that kind of pressure orgasm.  The material allows the surface to be non-porous and the cleanup session is easy easy.  Especially since you’ll be wanting to wear this all the time.

It is rechargeable! The top cap that has a loop for the chain unscrews and you can screw in the small USB adapter  to charge.  It has a light that you can see easily when it is charging and completed. The single button is very indiscreet to the point to wear it look almost identical to my customer’s regular ol’ necklace.  (She was bummed to find out the difference between her necklace and mine was she paid more for something that doesn’t even vibrate haha YAY for my multi-tasking necklace) I even turned it on for her and until she put it on her hand, she didn’t even realize it was on the highest speed.  It’s extremely quiet, with 4 speeds, low, medium, high and the ever so annoying pulsing vibe (I have to be in the mood for pulsation).  It was barely audible when it was on the pulsing vibration which made me laugh since my cellphone vibration is louder than this vibrator.  Let’s put it this way, my customer was super jelly.  The vibration is a strong buzzer so if you’re more of a thumper, you might wanna opt for their other options with a silicone top to make the vibration a bit muted.  I have to be on the mood for this type of vibration, let’s say more of a teasing type of mood.  But over all, I haven’t found anything to bitch about. 😂 haha

I’ve had a few other necklace vibrators but this one is top notch in comparison.  Not only is it smaller, the intensity of the vibration blows all of the others out of the water.

I do like it for orgasms on the go and it’d be perfect for all you little harlots who love vibrators when you’re in some hardcore traffic. 😉

If you want to be vain, look hella cute and have an orgasm deliverer around your neck, the Vesper needs to be yours. <3

Check out LOVECRAVE.com to snag your own vesper or to scope out the rest of their line of toys.

 

 

Sex Toy Review | Touch by We-Vibe

I don’t normally name my toys but sometimes the names that the companies give them are a little much or the name is so basic that when I mention the toy, it doesn’t leave an impression.  Every since I accidentally let it slip that the Touch by We-Vibe is called my Purple People Eater.  My Friends have adapted to it and always call it by that too.  The “Purple People Eater” name has even left an impression so great… that even my customers remember and call their new Touch by that name too!

At first glance, in a display case with other premium toys Wevibe’s Touch often gets overlooked.  This simple toy is made by the Canadian premium toy company, We-Vibe! Where their vibrators really live up to its name! I vibe, you vibe, we all vibe for orgasms!   This company is pretty high on my favorites list to recommend.  Their products sell themselves since all of their attributes are one of a kind, rechargeable, and body safe.  They don’t over saturate the toy market with toys that are unnecessary but instead offer products that are made simply to satisfy a woman’s simple sexual desires. ( and I hope you read that with grandiose and elegance.)

First, can we give a shout out to the design team who made the packaging!  Big ups! Hahaha Just look at it!! It’s sleek and it really portrays the quality of the toy you’ll be getting inside.   (I recommend keeping the box but I’ll tell you why in a bit.) It has a watercolor like look that is calming and reflects the color of toy inside.

 

The Touch comes in an eggplant purple color that isn’t loud and obnoxious.  Premium silicone that is velvet to the touch all over minus the bottom where it charges and has a single controlling button. It’s pebble shape fits perfectly in the palm of your hand or your partner’s hand to get a decent grip, even if you are all lubed up.  So, don’t worry you aren’t going to be playing hot potato with it.  The tip curves into a nice cupping design for those days where you want a more flickering or pinpointing clitoral stimulation. It also narrows down so you can still use it while with a partner. But, the cup like scoop can be flipped over for hard pressure other times.

Total Hybrid… not too buzzy and not too thumpy.  The vibrations are deep enough but fast enough to bring on orgasms without being too intense.  The motor is strong but isn’t loud enough the neighbors can hear.  You can play all you want in earshot but if you have roommates they won’t hear it in the next room.  If you’re still paranoid, you can always just resort to turning up Netflix when you chill since this guy comes with 8 different type of vibration modes.  The regular ol’ steady vibrations that increase 4 times and 4 various types of vibration patterns (Tease, Wave, Pulse and even the Cha-Cha). I’ve found that the steady vibration is great when you just want an orgasm straight and to the point.  Then, you can use the vibration patterns when you would like to do a fun increase in the excitement stages while extending the amount of time while watching porn, reading smut or just a fun teasing start up.

Made out of a premium silicone that is soft and velvety smooth to the “touch”.   This silicone is completely body-safe so you won’t have to worry about it having phthalates, BPA and latex in case you have an allergy.  This smooth texture on the surface while applied with your favorite Water-based lube allows it to glide over the clitoris with ease.

The base of the toy has a magnetic charging connection that makes it a great waterproof toy as well! If you charge it for a good hour and a half you’ll have about 2-3 hours worth of play time.  Now, my only bummer about this glorious toy is the magnetic connection to charge.  At first, the usb cord has been wrapped so well in the box that it doesn’t lie flat at first which makes the toy flip a little and the connection moves.  The moment I walked away, it’d twist like a silly worm and sometimes, a whole hour goes by and I didn’t even realize that it wasn’t charging.   🙁

Even though, I’d love to store it in the white silk-like bag all the time, I love my Fun hack.  If you keep the box, you can use the side cut out to make the silly usb cord from disconnecting. Makes for easier storage as well.

This pebble shaped vibrator is so simplistic in design that it almost seems like it won’t get the job done.  BUT! It really does!  It’s my go-to. 😀  Try it out and maybe it’ll becomes your best friend too!

 


^_^ Please check out: The “Touch” was perfect without “sight”

Review | Liberator Decor Heart Wedge

Hi, my name is Jade and I’m an addict. A pillow addict. Lol I’m pretty sure my addiction drives my partner insane. You know those people that have to remove pillows just to have room on the bed? Yeah, that’s me. I know I have a queen size bed for the queen that I am, but on top of the body pillow and regular pillows, I have an excess amount of decorative pillows and pillow pets. Haha So of course, it only makes sense for me to have a pillow designed for my sex adventures.

Ya see, Liberator is a fancy company right here in the U.S. Of A. *MERICA*, that creates quality sex furniture and products that make sense! I could go on and on since I love ’em and have been selling them for years now. ( *waves* to all my old Castle customers 😘) But, let’s just say Liberator products helps make your sex adventures easier.  They are position aids that maneuver and contort your body into just the right positions for all your kama sutra needs! Since everyone comes in all shapes and sizes, it allows you to connect with your partner easier and minimize strain on the body.

Recently, One of my favorite distributors, HolidayProducts started carrying a few of their products.  Which I leaped for joy since I love being able to sell quality merch at work but it helped remind me that I needed some “Liberator” in my life.  It probably helped that I have a partner now, to invest in some of their products to be able to really put it to good use.

So after much thought, We decided on the Heart wedge ❤️, for its versatility …and cuteness. :P.

The moment it arrived, the box’s design was perfect. Sleek, chic and has all the necessary information that any person would need.  You can pick up the box and learn all the features without even talking to a salesperson and realize that you need it in your life.  Their products now come vacuum sealed and snug as a bug in a box.  It really made the experience of picking it up off a shelf, a bit more pleasing and I felt like a cool kid who is part of a secret society.

I unwrapped the goodness and it took a good hour for it to really come into it’s final perfect shape. since it was vacuum sealed.  But, the anticipation was awesome.

The Heart wedge looks pretty basic on the outside but it’s what is on the inside (like of the rest of their pillows and furniture) that makes it unique and is the main selling point for me.

First, is the highly dense polyurethane foam that is similar to the quality foam they use on regular ol’ furniture.  Unlike pillows, where they squish down and you have to keep adjusting and adding 10,000 more pillows for height, the Wedge is firm enough for a person to lay on and have the weight of both partners (while the thrusting action goes on).  Other sex position products out there, are usually the blow up inflatable kind with plastic edges that hurt and deflate after time.  Which is cool, if you want something to stash away but I want my heart wedge front and center on my bed.

Next, is one of my favorite components of this product which is the black polyester zip-up liner that protects the foam.  This liner is water-proof to deter all the sex juices from getting all over the place. … makes sense now, right? haha Because who wants soggy sex juices or butt particle pillows to fall asleep on.

Finally, is the last layer, the velvish cover that is a soft polyester, suede like feel.  I found that it keeps me in place and if you tie it in with other Liberator items they don’t slip and keep in place together.  This Velvish cover zips on and can be removed to be washed.  😀

The Heart wedge is small but mighty. It provides just the right amount of angle and lift for my petite self that the next day my lower back isn’t dying from my late night cardio sessions. The Liberator products are the perfect positioning aid that not only is chic decor in your household, but also is one of the most functional positioning aids out there.

The tip of the heart angles perfecting to the base of a lower back and the top increases to a nice 7″ angled height perfect for G-spot penetration. The heart wedge is a great way to have deeper penetration and consistent pressure on the G-spot in case your end goal is Squirting!!!

Their packaging and on their website has fun diagrams to show you which positions might be your jam while using the wedge but my ultimate favorite is the fact that it has a little cut-out at the top of the heart. When the legs are angled up and at the edge, the cut-out is perfect for a partners face to get on in there for some oral satisfaction! Pussy on a platter time!

I’m so glad I decided to indulge and get one. I really do recommend it since it really helps with folks of all shapes and sizes. This allows you to position your bodies to heighten your sex game and make your next sex adventure on point. 👌🏼

Check out their website: Liberator.com

 


I used to own one of their pillows a couple years back.  It was the Whirl, which was just a plain cylindrical pillow, but I never got the chance to use it for the purpose it was made for. Haha I didn’t have a partner at that time so it ended up being a decorative pillow on my bed that I used while watching TV or to roll out my back after work. Pathetic lol I know.  After I moved, I didn’t take it with me but I sure wish I did so I could’ve tried it for the real purpose it was designed for. 😛

So, even if you don’t have a partner like I didn’t. haha its’s still a great buy, if you like to  a firm pillow to play video games or read a book.

 

REVIEW | Nipcicle

This review goes out to all the nipple lovers out there! 

nipcicleKeep the ice cubes in the fridge because Nipcicle has you covered!  Nipcicle is an arousal balm to sensation to the nipples.  This balm brings tingles to the nipple to become more erect incase you want to add some vibrating nipple clamps or fun nipple weights!

Nipple play is great foreplay and if you want a more prolonged play session, nipcicle is pretty much ideal for that.  The menthol it contains takes a few minutes for the tingle to set in.  Pretty pre-game and during your lingerie set up.

Bodacious Balm is an all natural vegan lip balm company based in Los Angeles that has branched out and made a nipple balm that is sticks with their all natural tag line.  All their products are carefully handmade with plant based ingredients. “Due to the ongoing news about honeybees and wild bees dying at an alarming rate we choose not to use beeswax or honey in our products. ”  This allows you to ease your mind that it is made with safe and ethical practices. 

When, you apply Nipcicle to your nipples or lips for an erotic icy tingle, it’s quite interesting because you almost feel like you would want to put more since you won’t automatically feel it.  BUT don’t!  It takes a few moments to react and once you put it on there is no going back.  It will continue to work even after you try to wash it off. It’s a hit or miss if you enjoy this type of sensation.  The menthol brings the bloodflow there and if you blow on the skin where it was applied, it’ll add an extra “freeze” like reaction.

You can check out this product or their other amazing lip balms at BodaciousBalm.com

 

 

 

REVIEW| Doc Johnson’s Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner – Spray

1399_02_bu_1Doc Johnson has an Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner that is affordable and reasonably priced!

This is a great toy cleaner to snag to keep your toys nice and spick ‘n span for the folks with no time to waste.  I recommend it for a quick wipe down before use.

It’s a bit up in the air for some people, but it has a distinctive smell that I’m not too fond of.  To some people, they love the smell and find it to be refreshing.  But, that refreshing smell reminds me of really cheap men’s cologne.  haha  So, maybe while it cleans, it makes my battery operated boyfriends smell like the man that I don’t have. 😛  The smell is pungent while it’s cleaning but after it airs out the smell fades.  I have a few customers that love to use this toy specifically for anal toys. Just a suggestion.

This toy cleaner comes in a pump spray bottle that with a few pumps it can cover an entire toy.  You only need to spray down the toy, let it sit for a minute or so and then wipe it down.  Make sure you use a soft cloth because using a paper towel or toilet paper has a tendency to leave paper residue behind.

This toy cleaner is great way to keep everything sanitary especially since it’s usually under 10 bucks! 😀 easy peasy buy!

DocJohnsonToyCleaner

Trojan’s Fire & Ice Condoms

I am consumer.  You know the kind  of consumer when new things are in my line of sight and comments like “oh, shiny! the packaging is oh so pretty! and it makes my heart feel tingly!” *WANT WANT*  *NEED NEED*  *GIMME GIMME*… starts spewing out of my mouth.   Product Packaging  turn my  consumer-driven-eyes into the decision maker which can be possibly a good thing but usually… a bad thing. haha

When it comes to condom shopping, everyone knows the end product inside the fancy packaging is ugly as shit. haha  it’s a hunk of a latex that is a barrier with benefits! but kills the joy for penises everywhere.  So, when we as consumers shop, we have to rely on the packaging and “info” on it or lack thereof.

Trojan is the popular kid of condoms.  They are at all the popular places and have  a pretty large variety of characteristics.   The packaging is inviting and their condom jargon entices you that this hunk of latex is going to make sexy time way better.   So, you can imagine how I felt, as I kept seeing those Fire & Ice condoms fly off the shelves for so long.

I developed a huge FOMO complex.

WHAT IS THIS “DUAL ACTION LUBRICATION” I NEED IN MY LIFE?~  Why is this super hero color scheme on the box drawing my eyes to it each and every time. haha   I’ve had a mix of reviews from people and one of my good friends thought it was the jam and gave me one to try out.

I tried it.  It wasn’t fabulous.  I felt a bit tingly.  It didn’t “set me on fire” like a few customers have told me. haha It didn’t feel like “Icy hot was being rubbed on my junk”.  “Immediate shower power time” didn’t need to happen.  Maybe my lovebox is made of steel but, I just felt a bit uncomfortable.   That’s the only way I can describe it, at the moment.  It felt like something was brewing inside and my insides were being touched by an alien.  haha My love box was irritated, but I couldn’t really grasp the feeling completely since I was in the moment and wasn’t focusing on “Is this condom making the experience better?”.

I usually research things and try it out.  But this time I just jumped in head first and BOY, did I regret it.  I had an angry vag for a few days later. I don’t know why I thought my love box could handle this since I can barely handle certain lubes but *shrug* I YOLO’d to smack that FOMO out the door.

What makes a condom do fancy things is usually the shape to fit perfectly and the lube that makes it do funky things, like the cooling, warming and delays.  Trojan doesn’t tell you what the ingredients to their “Dual action lubrication” is.  Their box is pretty basic when you are actually seeking for answers. 0_0…  It won’t tell you a damn thing.

I normally don’t recommend getting too crazy with lubricants without doing test runs since you never know how your body will react.  Especially, since we don’t have the exact list of ingredients.  So us consumers, have to use our own smarts and common sense!   Majority of the lubes out there use pretty much the same thing. The first part of the name is FIRE!  which implies a warming sensation to stimulate.  This usually means that Capsaicin is an ingredient, a chili pepper extract that when it is used in small dosages can create warmth and heat aka that fire they are talking about. The second part of the name is ICE! to give a cooling effect.  Menthol is used for that stimulation effect.  When air hits your skin that is lubricated it makes a nice effect to make you feel an area that you forgot existed at that point.  Their lubricant is water based and I’m pretty sure contained glycerin/glycerol, a sugar derived component that has a tendency to cause yeast infections! yyyyyyyyyyaY!! 0_0

I’ve read multiple places that on top of those goodies they have benzocaine for guys to make them last longer. No big deal…

My biggest and main concern was the fact that nowhere did it say that the dual action lube used was a spermicidal lube with the condoms.    Rude much?  haha I’ve never been a fan of spermicidal lube after reading the statistics of how ineffective it can be, with 1 out of 5 chances of getting pregnant, I find that almost as fun and nerve racking as playing the russian roulette of pulling out.  But some find that it makes sense, so go you?!?

At first, it sounds like a great idea since spermicidal lubricant immobilizes sperm and I’m all about using contraceptives!  But spermicidal lube NONOXYNOL-9   has been known to erode the cells in the vagina and rectum.  This irritates the lining and can cause micro lesions which may not make you 1 out of 5 pregnant but it can make you have a high percentage to STDs/STIs.

ok ok ok… SO… I rambled.  SO all in all… Trojan Fire & Ice is great to try out, if you are curious about warming and cooling and you already know that it works for you.  But, if you are sensitive then you might steer clear of it.  Irritation and a possible yeast infection might happen from the lubricant they used.  Keep in mind Trojan usually marks their packaging if it uses spermicidal lube included or not.  They literally have a huge assortment of other condoms that are great and various lubes that you can combine with a condom to get this same “fire & ice” effect with better luck.  OR heck! get their non lubricated condom,Trojan Enz mixed in with their warming and hers lubricant. 😀

I’m a bit sad it didn’t work for me out for me, but I did give it a try!

Here’s a coupon to save up to $5 off your next trojan purchase.

 

Review |Wicked Clip (Maia)

IMG_5516A toy that is suppose to exude color therapy to sooth my soul and put me at ease is right up my alley!  Maia Toys has incorporated color therapy with their toy line, almost a low key way of telling you, “Don’t trip potato chip, using this sex toy is going to make you feel more inclined to use it… and feel like a million bucks!”.

I can’t even count the amount of times men (sorry to single you out boys! :P) tell me, “Does color matter?” after I’ve asked them, “oooo, What color do you want?!?” 😀 They act as if color isn’t a factor but it totally is!  In my “Guide to Picking a Sex Toy“, One of the main decision factors is the visual appearance of a toy.  😀 Color makes a difference and is our mind’s Visual aphrodisiac in finding a toy that is comfortable for you or your partner.

The first time, I laid eyes on this little toy the color is what drew me in.  The vibrant Poolside blue color pulled me in, and my preference for cheesy girly pinks and purples faded.  This cool color gives off comfort and make you feel secure.  Mission accomplished with that Maia! It became my new obsession and I completely judged this one solely on the shape, packaging and my prior love for other Maia products. Continue reading Review |Wicked Clip (Maia)

Review | Miracle Oil by Earthly Body

NEW-Miracle-Oil-bottle-plus-box-Web-2y4n0kumxz5wsveiiutzpmWith the name Miracle Oil, it’s prestigious name sounded like this might be liquid gold. ehhh… and I’m okay with that. haha  I wasn’t sure what it’s prime purpose was and then I realized it’s an all-natural way to transform and help with skin problems ranging from dry feet and heels, shave bumps, waxing irritation, nails & cuticles, scar and stretch mark reduction.

I’ve always been a bit high maintenance when it comes to my skin.  Teenage acne issues.  Never drinking enough water, so my skin is dry as all hell.  Being of mixed ethnic descent and my skin is just prone to having scars show up like hazard signs.  Stretch marks from my lovely fluctuation of weight growing up.  Shaving bumps since I absolutely hate hair anywhere but my head.

I tried the Miracle Oil several times, after I shaved and showered, then with each time the results kept getting better and better.  My razor shaving bumps were nowhere to be found and made my skin was left pretty silky smooth without any irritation.   Almost to the point to where, I’m soooo glad nobody could see in my room just rubbing my body, feeling ‘da smoooooothness haha

My trouble areas of being dry, didn’t even need my daily lotion touch ups.  My scar on my hand that I was paranoid about looks like the Miracle Oil took the blending brush on photoshop and blended to the point to where it isn’t so noticeable.  The skin doesn’t look like scar tissue and more like regular skin.

It’s just nice subtle goodness.  ^_^

It comes with a dropper to apply but I think it’s annoying and I just want to dump it on.  The bottle is a bit small but a little goes a long way and the price tag isn’t so bad so I wouldn’t mind slathering it on (approx. $12.00).

Can’t wait to try it out long term. I’ll be sure to update on that as well. ^_^

Hemp-Seed-Logo-web

 

 

Sex Toy Review | The Double Pop by G-Spot Lollipop

Sex Toy presents are the best! I visited my lovely friend, Tera Patrick to have a little chat on her Vivid Radio show.  Where she surprised me with fun goodie bits,  one of them included the G-spot lollipop! *squeals*
 
I’m a huge fan of cute factor, especially sex toys that don’t look like a huge big dick or a hungry tentacle trying to attack my precious G-spot. 😛 well, sometimes I am but I’m all about anything that is more visually appealing a la kawaii.
 
 The moment she dropped that goodie in front of me, I melted with kawaii goodness.  The G-Spot Lollipop’s packaging fits their name to a T,  and just like any ol’ lollipop, it came with a plastic wrapping covering the top ball.  The clear plastic allowed you to see through and get a glimpse of the Green marble swirl pop fun that was in my near future.  They had a cute bow and tag attached at the bigger end with their logo and info.  Simple and to the point!  Many focus on the packaging, which doesn’t make sense to me since we toss it after we open it.  I dunno, maybe you might be a hoarder but I hate excess packaging (Wall-e doesn’t like waste :P).
Now, the downside of getting super cute toys is, I have a tendency to want to just leave it on my shelf and stare at it.  These cute toys end up being more of a display item and following my fashion over function motto.  So, this literally sat on my shelf for a couple of months before giving it a whirl.  The reason for this was a mixture of emotions from “it’s too cuterz to open” and also because that single rod for the lollipop stick looked like it was going to karate chop my cooch.
The G-Spot Lollipop insertable portions on each end are different sizes.  The various sizes allow this toy to be a bit more versatile in the ways you can use it!  If you are using this for G-spot stimulation, the larger portion will help if you like more of a flat headed stimulation. I always opted for the smaller end because the ball head was a bit blunt for me when it came to insertion.  Which was a bit of a struggle the first time and I had to do a shimmy swirl instead of a “shove it straight on it” method.  Just like licking a regular lollipop, twisting it helps to savor the taste and the same goes for this toy.  While inserting it, I did a twist and push and it worked great.
 Tied in with a vibe for clitoral stimulation it wasn’t too shabby.  It’s not something that is my first thing to grab but I don’t mind using it once in a blue moon. I do enjoy the fact that I can glide it smoothly over my goodie bits for clitoral stimulation and it is almost at the same level as my favorite glass toys.  My favorite feature is the Double Pop’s colorful insertable ends are made from non-porous acrylic and the rod is stainless steel.  These materials allow me to tie it in with my favorite silicone lubricant since it is compatible.
The Double Pop can also function as a kegel weight trainer.  By inserting the smaller end the weight of the bigger end made kegel exercises a bit fun.   The only downer is my kegel muscles are made of steel and after orgasm, retrieving it on out is a bit tricky.  So after using it, I recommend waiting for you muscles to relax and then twist pulling it out.
With a partner, I think it’d be a fun try but after giving it a few tries to see if there was a learning curve, it didn’t seem to do much for me.  This lollipop wasn’t really my jam but I found a few of my friends that loved and adored this toy.  They also had another Toy very similar that has a loop which may be a lot easier to use for g-spot stimulation.  Which would have probably been more of my jam.  But I guess I was just expecting a squirting of a good time. So, for now, it’s back on my shelf looking cute. 😛

Review | Dr. Pink’s Anal Brightening cream

DRP10065The first time I ever encountered anal bleaching cream, I felt like I became a huge ball of insecurity.  I never really was one to be embarrassed of being a lovely half breed that has “bronze goddess” pigmented skin.  But, out of no where I became BEYOND paranoid but not for the purpose of what it said on the bottle.  haha I have scars on my legs that are ALL the different shades of “nude” colors in a crayon box.  These battle wounds were all because I was an outdoor hood rat kind of kid. haha  Then, it kept digging at me for all the other discolored-ness as I began talking with my co-workers about the cream.  They voiced their concerns about their goodie bits and chocolate starfishes.  I guess we all had this idea in our heads of how girl’s parts are supposed to look from porn (appaaaaarently… but I disagree).  We do talk a lot of crap on some of the girls since their cracks are like a deep cave of doom.  lol but everyone is different!  I know my goods aren’t the perfect shade of pink like white girls but it didn’t bug me.  I have caramel skin and milk chocolate chip nips that suit me just fine.  But, I couldn’t be a hater too much and brush off my co-workers concerns since I slather on facial makeup that makes my face an even toned canvas.   They told me that they feel that if their butthole is a darker hue that means they are dirty and maybe that’s what makes everyone want to try this.   So, I put it to the test for my scars, underarms and heck even my starfish. lol

Dr. Pinks Anal Brightening Cream is made for all of your intimate areas and just plain skin in general.  I chose this cream as my first one to use since it is hydroquinone-free and was a great alternative to that.  I’ve read so many horrific stories about how  dangerous at times using a cream with hydroquinone is and didn’t really want to put my body through that. 😛

Dr. Pinks Anal Brightening Cream comes in a 50ml/1.7fl oz bottle, but for the price and how much I have to use I wish it came with more cream in it.  It has an easy pump on top that made application a lot easier.  The consistency of the cream wasn’t as thick as I was expecting and for some reason I had this idea in my head that it was going to be like “shaving cream” thick almost foam like. haha not bad just not expected. It was like a nice night cream consistency.  I didn’t mind the smell and actually thought it wasn’t that bad.  It smelled like a menthol citrus but keep in mind it’s not right up next to my nose so maybe after awhile I probably would have been bothered. The cap sucked though since I dropped it on my tile flooring, it got a crack on the side and barely stayed on even when it was in good shape but it gave it a nice packaging touch to it all.

This review took me a month in the making, since I hate to be too quick to judge.  I love to see quick results, so this PAINED ME to wait so long (that’s probably the reason as to why girls opt to using hydroquinone or just going to a salon to just bleach themselves).  It says it could take weeks to even months to see results, SO PLEASE KEEP THAT IN MIND.  Luckily, for me it only took 3 days to visibly see results and 2 weeks to be at the level I desired.

I followed the directions completely and did as I was instructed.  Daily, I put a thin layer of the cream on my key spots (underarms, a few scars on my legs and my intimate areas.  After a few days, I started to see a small difference.  It wasn’t a shocking “black Michael Jackson to white Michael Jackson” effect but it lightened to the point to where it highlighted and blended with my regular skin tone.  It worked better on some areas than others but after looking up that one of the key ingredients Kojic Dipalmitate, it sort of works with your body.  Pretty much, it tells the skin to slow it’s roll with the tyrosinase (what makes melanin aka color in the skin).  So, In order for the product to keep working and maintaining the color you desire, you have to keep using the product.  Once you stop, the tyrosinase will continue to create melanin and your skin tone goes back to what it was.

 

Try Dr. Pinks Anal Brightening Cream out! Maybe you’ll like it! I liked it and it worked for me. It’s like real life photoshop. I felt like I just messed with the levels a bit and took the smudge tool to blend my skin all pretty. haha

At one point a customer asked if, I was bullshitting about this and I straight up told her, “If I could pull down my pants and show you how pretty my butthole is…crack ‘n all.. I would!” haha

Just remember though for the hefty price of $49.99 it’s only a temporary fix.  But, I can honestly say the results from this brightening cream, it has boosted my confidence a few notches.

 www.ANALBRIGHTENING.com