Category Archives: Sex Toy Reviews

Sex Toy Review | Crave Vesper

I was having a monotonous Monday morning until my partner walked through the door and dropped this gem in my hand.  A super surprise that made my heart skip a beat.  No reason, just because! But, I saw the box and automatically knew what it was.  A fashionable yet functional vibrator necklace by Crave! Who needs flowers when I can have a bouquet of orgasms instead! 😀

#Bae😍 rolled through today & added a @lovecrave #Vesper to my collection. #giftoforgasms #rosegold #bulletvibe #vesperstyle #necklace 😻💓💦

A post shared by 💕💖💜💛🐰🌸Xox Jade🌸 🐙💛💜💖💕 (@hankypankyharlot) on


 

Over 6 years ago, this company started their vision by crowdfunding their way into one of the most elegant and innovative toy companies in the market.  I love that they started from the bottom and now they have such a beautiful selection of vibrators.

It’s very rare that I can describe a Sex Toy… beautiful but it really is.  Their chic and sleek products looks define their image. This puts my mind at ease as a consumer and draws me to them.


The Vesper is a slim bullet vibrator that duals as an eloquent piece of jewelry as well.  Made from Stainless steel and plated with sterling silver.  I got the one accented with rose gold. *flips hair like I’m fancy chic or something*  The top  of the toy and the lovely  26″ length chain is in the rose gold.  The rest of its body with a whopping 3.8 inches in length is in the super silver!  The surface is smooth and glides over your skin or stays put if you want that kind of pressure orgasm.  The material allows the surface to be non-porous and the cleanup session is easy easy.  Especially since you’ll be wanting to wear this all the time.

It is rechargeable! The top cap that has a loop for the chain unscrews and you can screw in the small USB adapter  to charge.  It has a light that you can see easily when it is charging and completed. The single button is very indiscreet to the point to wear it look almost identical to my customer’s regular ol’ necklace.  (She was bummed to find out the difference between her necklace and mine was she paid more for something that doesn’t even vibrate haha YAY for my multi-tasking necklace) I even turned it on for her and until she put it on her hand, she didn’t even realize it was on the highest speed.  It’s extremely quiet, with 4 speeds, low, medium, high and the ever so annoying pulsing vibe (I have to be in the mood for pulsation).  It was barely audible when it was on the pulsing vibration which made me laugh since my cellphone vibration is louder than this vibrator.  Let’s put it this way, my customer was super jelly.  The vibration is a strong buzzer so if you’re more of a thumper, you might wanna opt for their other options with a silicone top to make the vibration a bit muted.  I have to be on the mood for this type of vibration, let’s say more of a teasing type of mood.  But over all, I haven’t found anything to bitch about. 😂 haha

I’ve had a few other necklace vibrators but this one is top notch in comparison.  Not only is it smaller, the intensity of the vibration blows all of the others out of the water.

I do like it for orgasms on the go and it’d be perfect for all you little harlots who love vibrators when you’re in some hardcore traffic. 😉

If you want to be vain, look hella cute and have an orgasm deliverer around your neck, the Vesper needs to be yours. <3

Check out LOVECRAVE.com to snag your own vesper or to scope out the rest of their line of toys.

 

 

Sex Toy Review | Touch by We-Vibe

I don’t normally name my toys but sometimes the names that the companies give them are a little much or the name is so basic that when I mention the toy, it doesn’t leave an impression.  Every since I accidentally let it slip that the Touch by We-Vibe is called my Purple People Eater.  My Friends have adapted to it and always call it by that too.  The “Purple People Eater” name has even left an impression so great… that even my customers remember and call their new Touch by that name too!

At first glance, in a display case with other premium toys Wevibe’s Touch often gets overlooked.  This simple toy is made by the Canadian premium toy company, We-Vibe! Where their vibrators really live up to its name! I vibe, you vibe, we all vibe for orgasms!   This company is pretty high on my favorites list to recommend.  Their products sell themselves since all of their attributes are one of a kind, rechargeable, and body safe.  They don’t over saturate the toy market with toys that are unnecessary but instead offer products that are made simply to satisfy a woman’s simple sexual desires. ( and I hope you read that with grandiose and elegance.)

First, can we give a shout out to the design team who made the packaging!  Big ups! Hahaha Just look at it!! It’s sleek and it really portrays the quality of the toy you’ll be getting inside.   (I recommend keeping the box but I’ll tell you why in a bit.) It has a watercolor like look that is calming and reflects the color of toy inside.

 

The Touch comes in an eggplant purple color that isn’t loud and obnoxious.  Premium silicone that is velvet to the touch all over minus the bottom where it charges and has a single controlling button. It’s pebble shape fits perfectly in the palm of your hand or your partner’s hand to get a decent grip, even if you are all lubed up.  So, don’t worry you aren’t going to be playing hot potato with it.  The tip curves into a nice cupping design for those days where you want a more flickering or pinpointing clitoral stimulation. It also narrows down so you can still use it while with a partner. But, the cup like scoop can be flipped over for hard pressure other times.

Total Hybrid… not too buzzy and not too thumpy.  The vibrations are deep enough but fast enough to bring on orgasms without being too intense.  The motor is strong but isn’t loud enough the neighbors can hear.  You can play all you want in earshot but if you have roommates they won’t hear it in the next room.  If you’re still paranoid, you can always just resort to turning up Netflix when you chill since this guy comes with 8 different type of vibration modes.  The regular ol’ steady vibrations that increase 4 times and 4 various types of vibration patterns (Tease, Wave, Pulse and even the Cha-Cha). I’ve found that the steady vibration is great when you just want an orgasm straight and to the point.  Then, you can use the vibration patterns when you would like to do a fun increase in the excitement stages while extending the amount of time while watching porn, reading smut or just a fun teasing start up.

Made out of a premium silicone that is soft and velvety smooth to the “touch”.   This silicone is completely body-safe so you won’t have to worry about it having phthalates, BPA and latex in case you have an allergy.  This smooth texture on the surface while applied with your favorite Water-based lube allows it to glide over the clitoris with ease.

The base of the toy has a magnetic charging connection that makes it a great waterproof toy as well! If you charge it for a good hour and a half you’ll have about 2-3 hours worth of play time.  Now, my only bummer about this glorious toy is the magnetic connection to charge.  At first, the usb cord has been wrapped so well in the box that it doesn’t lie flat at first which makes the toy flip a little and the connection moves.  The moment I walked away, it’d twist like a silly worm and sometimes, a whole hour goes by and I didn’t even realize that it wasn’t charging.   🙁

Even though, I’d love to store it in the white silk-like bag all the time, I love my Fun hack.  If you keep the box, you can use the side cut out to make the silly usb cord from disconnecting. Makes for easier storage as well.

This pebble shaped vibrator is so simplistic in design that it almost seems like it won’t get the job done.  BUT! It really does!  It’s my go-to. 😀  Try it out and maybe it’ll becomes your best friend too!

 


^_^ Please check out: The “Touch” was perfect without “sight”

Review |Wicked Clip (Maia)

IMG_5516A toy that is suppose to exude color therapy to sooth my soul and put me at ease is right up my alley!  Maia Toys has incorporated color therapy with their toy line, almost a low key way of telling you, “Don’t trip potato chip, using this sex toy is going to make you feel more inclined to use it… and feel like a million bucks!”.

I can’t even count the amount of times men (sorry to single you out boys! :P) tell me, “Does color matter?” after I’ve asked them, “oooo, What color do you want?!?” 😀 They act as if color isn’t a factor but it totally is!  In my “Guide to Picking a Sex Toy“, One of the main decision factors is the visual appearance of a toy.  😀 Color makes a difference and is our mind’s Visual aphrodisiac in finding a toy that is comfortable for you or your partner.

The first time, I laid eyes on this little toy the color is what drew me in.  The vibrant Poolside blue color pulled me in, and my preference for cheesy girly pinks and purples faded.  This cool color gives off comfort and make you feel secure.  Mission accomplished with that Maia! It became my new obsession and I completely judged this one solely on the shape, packaging and my prior love for other Maia products. Continue reading Review |Wicked Clip (Maia)

Sex Toy Review | The Double Pop by G-Spot Lollipop

Sex Toy presents are the best! I visited my lovely friend, Tera Patrick to have a little chat on her Vivid Radio show.  Where she surprised me with fun goodie bits,  one of them included the G-spot lollipop! *squeals*
 
I’m a huge fan of cute factor, especially sex toys that don’t look like a huge big dick or a hungry tentacle trying to attack my precious G-spot. 😛 well, sometimes I am but I’m all about anything that is more visually appealing a la kawaii.
 
 The moment she dropped that goodie in front of me, I melted with kawaii goodness.  The G-Spot Lollipop’s packaging fits their name to a T,  and just like any ol’ lollipop, it came with a plastic wrapping covering the top ball.  The clear plastic allowed you to see through and get a glimpse of the Green marble swirl pop fun that was in my near future.  They had a cute bow and tag attached at the bigger end with their logo and info.  Simple and to the point!  Many focus on the packaging, which doesn’t make sense to me since we toss it after we open it.  I dunno, maybe you might be a hoarder but I hate excess packaging (Wall-e doesn’t like waste :P).
Now, the downside of getting super cute toys is, I have a tendency to want to just leave it on my shelf and stare at it.  These cute toys end up being more of a display item and following my fashion over function motto.  So, this literally sat on my shelf for a couple of months before giving it a whirl.  The reason for this was a mixture of emotions from “it’s too cuterz to open” and also because that single rod for the lollipop stick looked like it was going to karate chop my cooch.
The G-Spot Lollipop insertable portions on each end are different sizes.  The various sizes allow this toy to be a bit more versatile in the ways you can use it!  If you are using this for G-spot stimulation, the larger portion will help if you like more of a flat headed stimulation. I always opted for the smaller end because the ball head was a bit blunt for me when it came to insertion.  Which was a bit of a struggle the first time and I had to do a shimmy swirl instead of a “shove it straight on it” method.  Just like licking a regular lollipop, twisting it helps to savor the taste and the same goes for this toy.  While inserting it, I did a twist and push and it worked great.
 Tied in with a vibe for clitoral stimulation it wasn’t too shabby.  It’s not something that is my first thing to grab but I don’t mind using it once in a blue moon. I do enjoy the fact that I can glide it smoothly over my goodie bits for clitoral stimulation and it is almost at the same level as my favorite glass toys.  My favorite feature is the Double Pop’s colorful insertable ends are made from non-porous acrylic and the rod is stainless steel.  These materials allow me to tie it in with my favorite silicone lubricant since it is compatible.
The Double Pop can also function as a kegel weight trainer.  By inserting the smaller end the weight of the bigger end made kegel exercises a bit fun.   The only downer is my kegel muscles are made of steel and after orgasm, retrieving it on out is a bit tricky.  So after using it, I recommend waiting for you muscles to relax and then twist pulling it out.
With a partner, I think it’d be a fun try but after giving it a few tries to see if there was a learning curve, it didn’t seem to do much for me.  This lollipop wasn’t really my jam but I found a few of my friends that loved and adored this toy.  They also had another Toy very similar that has a loop which may be a lot easier to use for g-spot stimulation.  Which would have probably been more of my jam.  But I guess I was just expecting a squirting of a good time. So, for now, it’s back on my shelf looking cute. 😛

Review | Tsunami (Tantus)

61y7U5FaKmL._SL1143_Tantus has always been on my radar since I first found out about their products.   …with their modern shape toys… the texture on their realistic dongs *Ohhhh adam <3*… and their quality makes me want to collect them all.  *swooooon*   I’ve been asked a couple of times lately, if I love to recommend Tantus so much why haven’t I reviewed any of their toys, and honestly I don’t know! haha *I* know that they are amazing but sometimes I forget to boast about them.  So, I thought why not review the first tantus vibrating dong, I bought a couple years ago.

Continue reading Review | Tsunami (Tantus)

Review | Smartballs Metallic Kegel Exerciser (Fun Factory)

61rbDFbrSUL._SL1500_I’ve been meaning to write a review on Fun Factory’s Smartballs Original Kegel Exercisers in Metallic Magenta and Rose.  But it’s just been a slippery slope with this toy/ exerciser.

I wanted these more for the female wellness factor as a kegel exerciser but I feel like using it more for pleasure would be best.  The Smartballs are a modern version from the traditional kegel balls and had a few features that made me more favorable to them.  They have inner balls that move around to help me contract my muscles and a string attached which makes retrieving the balls out easier.

They have a patented manufacturing method to make Smartballs the most quietest balls in the world.  But, I wiggled and I sometimes could hear it. haha I almost got paranoid to wear it out in public because of it.  Just so you can get a feeling of it,  I put a video below so you can hear the sound of it when it moves.  You rarely hear it when it’s inside. Sometimes, just a few knocks here and there when you move too quickly.

Continue reading Review | Smartballs Metallic Kegel Exerciser (Fun Factory)

Review | Liv (LELO)

Lelo’s Liv is by far my favorite basic toy out there.  This toy is what really opened my eyes to sex toys.  The appearance wasn’t abrasive looking and didn’t fit my ignorant image of what a sex toy was supposed to look like in my head aka a huge flesh-toned dong.  I loved how chic it looked and it made me feel (since I use to be a prude) comfortable about exploring my sexuality.

Liv is made by the remarkable Lelo group, who is one of the few companies that has steered sex toys in the way of fabulous and chic.  Liv is just one amongst many of Lelo’s line of toys that is known for their quality and innovative designs.

300A simple vibrator that is a staple in my roster of adult toy suggestions.  Liv’s qualities are what I like to stress enough to override the price tag that is attached to the toy.  This upgrade from basic sex toys  are a nice addition because you get what you pay for.

The main shaft on the top is made with a premium silicone that is body safe.  The silicone is the smooth, soft silky texture unlike some jelly toys that may cause irritation, this feels good on the skin.   Paired with a nice water-based lubricant, it will glide over your skin.  In case you want to use it like a wand for clitoral stimulation or tilted inward juuuuust right for a pinpointed g-spot stimulation.  The Liv isn’t like some old school vibrator that looks like a big stick that is going to stab you.  Liv is ergonomically shaped for a females body, isn’t too big and glides right in, if that’s what you want.

Say good-bye to batteries, since this toy is rechargeable!  Since you won’t have have batteries dangling around inside the toy, it is so quiet you can barely hear it outside the door of a room of someone using it.  This toy’s battery life lasts approximately 3.5 hours for me and even can be used while plugged in.

I bought this toy back in 2012 and it’s still going strong.  It had a 1 year warranty and it’s still on it’s 10 year quality assurance warranty. It is the first version of Liv, a splash proof toy and has a tab that covers the electrical socket to plug in to be rechargeable.  They now have the Liv 2 out now and they have had a few upgrades.  It’s one of my favorite toys to recommend and with the new improvements, I think this should be a nice addition to upgrade your toy box. 😀

 

 

Review | Iroha Mini ume-anzu (Tenga)

iroha_1

I’ve always been a fan of Tenga‘s male masturbation products for their modern design.  Tenga designs have a look that isn’t as abrasive and harsh looking which makes it very appealing to some people.  So, of course the Iroha Mini  got me curious!

The phrase “Good things come in small packages” has always stuck with me and this palm size vibrator looked absolutely chic.

Continue reading Review | Iroha Mini ume-anzu (Tenga)

REVIEW | “The Original” Butterfly Kiss (CalExotic)

SE-0782-14-3So, I grabbed  Cal Exotics “The Original” Butterfly Kiss, after a customer bought this and she wanted to see if we’d have the same experience and asked me to try it out. 😀 Plus, She read 2374839748 reviews on Amazon on it and had her heart set on it.  haha I can understand why she was gung-ho on it since the packaging is really inviting and not as harsh looking for a newbie toy.  I’ve noticed if a girl is looking for a new toy and she wants the best of both worlds… internal and external stimulation, she reaches for this toy.  I love g-spot toys and that bulbous end looked enticing, so I gave it a whirl. 

Continue reading REVIEW | “The Original” Butterfly Kiss (CalExotic)

REVIEW | Water Dancer (Vibratex)

I love when I get nervous people who come in and ask for a “pocket rocket” it’s like they are asking for something on a grocery list and usually they don’t even know what it looks like.

photo 1

I know I shouldn’t say this but my toy snobby-ness comes into play, and I’m like uh why do you want a pocket rocket style vibe when you can get this! * insert fun shiny cute rechargeable toys here* haha but I have been and always will be a don’t knock it until you try it type of gal. *diva moment*

Water Dancer by Vibratex in it's Packaging
Water Dancer by Vibratex

A lovely rep from Vibratex pretty much tossed a “Water Dancer”  at me and I’m not going to lie it sat in my toy drawer for 2 months.  I never felt that Pocket Rockets were for me but Water Dancer is made from the original “pocket rocket” manufacturers and I’m a fan of their wands.  So I said “wtf is wrong with me, stop being a hater!” Haha …and now I can see what all the hype is about.

Continue reading REVIEW | Water Dancer (Vibratex)