Category Archives: Lube Reviews

System Jo Agape Water-Based Lube | Lube Review

Finding a Water-based lubricant that you might like, is like finding the perfect pair of jeans. System Jo Agape Lube is like that comfortable pair of jeans that you always go back to. A comfy pair that you keep in the drawer for that rainy day. I’ve had this comfy lube in my line up for years and never gave it the limelight it deserves. 🙂

First Impression

When you are walking down the lube aisle or looking at the OVERWHELMING lube section on a website, the Agape’s appearance is “safe” looking and sometimes camouflages with the other bottles around it. With a frosty white label alongside with lavender and silver accents, its soft appearance is literally geared towards the female consumer psyche. (Good job System Jo packaging team! 😉 ) Agape’s inviting bottle has a comforting appeal.  Think of it as a visually appealing easy introduction for partners who are trying to find a simple lube to propose during their next sexy time session. I was a bigger fan of their older bottles which had an awesome pump but they changed their bottle to have an easy push down-flip top now.

Unlike me, you’re probably not going to do what I usually do, and that’s where I literally open every single lube tester bottle to feel the consistency and take a whiff if it smells good or funky.  Which I recommend, but if you do what everyone does and read the packaging where it shows a bunch of information and makes sure it checks down the “Temperamental vagina’s Lube” checklist.

  • glycerin-free
  • glycol-free
  • paraben-free

Which this lube checks out! Not only does it pass the water-based basic lube checklist.  This lube comes in various sizes to accommodate your needs, 1 fl. oz. easy for travel, and a 2 fl. oz. or 4 fl. oz. for your home base!

What’s inside?

The ingredients inside are Water (Aqua), Propanediol, Gluconolactone, Hydroxyethylcellulose, Sodium Benzoate and Citric Acid. Haha Now take that confused look off your face because we aren’t all super scientists and know exactly what each of those things means. Heck, many people don’t even know exactly what they are eating with some of the processed foods out there.  These ingredients aren’t as crazy sounding as they look, so I’m just going to break it down for the “ingredient-driven” consumer in layman’s terms.

Propanediol is natural and made from corn sugar fermentation, all in all, it’s a preservative that keeps the first ingredient, Water, nice and moisturized. Gluconolactone gathers water from all directions and creates a layer on the skin that soothes and softens it. This ingredient replenishes the moisture in the lube from the air and hinders the moister from leaving the skin. Sodium benzoate either covers or enhances the scent or is used as a  preservative.  Hydroxyethylcellulose keeps all the ingredients together, it’s a thickening agent and citric acid keeps PH levels in check.

This combo of ingredients allows this lubricant to feel like a close 2nd place to a girl’s own “natural” jizz. It’s not as thick as many gel-like lubricants but its thin enough to glide over the skin.

“JO AGAPE is a water-based personal lubricant for penile and/or vaginal application, intended to lubricate and moisturize, to enhance the ease and comfort of intimate sexual activity and supplement the body’s natural lubrication.”

Using this lube is perfect to decrease friction when you use a toy or penis in vag use. Especially, if you want to kick start the lubrication process since cowboy’s lube aka spit or a girl’s natural lubrication will reactivate it.  Just a heads up, avoid using this one for anal, it tends to disappear too fast and isn’t that slippy and slide-y enough.  It’s a water-based so just remember it will get “sticky” and almost “tacky” if it evaporates without any water or natural juices added over a little bit of time.  You can use it for male masturbation but as I said it does evaporate a bit faster and you’d use an entire bottle.

Pros
  • Easy to find in adult shops
  • Doesn’t have a bunch of Water-based lube additives that tend to cause irritation and random health issues.
  • Doesn’t mess with PH vag levels, which can be great for chicks who are prone to yeast infections, BV and UTIs.
  • Easy to wash off.
  • Doesn’t leave weird goopy stuff on the skin afterward, absorbs into the skin like a nice moisturizing lotion.
  • Feels natural and not like a barrier between me and my partner.
  • Condom & Sex Toy-Friendly.
Cons
  • Has a distinctive smell, if it’s right up next to your nose. It almost smells like a playdough, barbies and cetaphil to me. Which, I don’t mind since I’m not sniffing it all the time. But, if you’re sensitive to smell, get a sample of this to test the waters if you like it or not.
  • Don’t eat this. Do Oral before and not after you apply this on the skin.  Agape doesn’t taste too good. It’s bitter, toxic tasting and leaves your palate undesirable for a hot minute or two.
  • Dries up quick.

I do recommend you put this aside for the moment if you just shaved your downstairs.  If your pores are open and have micro cuts this has a tendency to sting a bit.  I’ve only had it happen less than a handful of times but I just want to give you a heads up since I know a few girls who thought they were allergic to this one at first when they actually weren’t at all. They were just dipping citric acid into mini shaving cuts.

Also, it’s pronounced Ahh-GAH-PAYYY, not a-gape.  I had a guy get quite mad at me one time insinuating that I was telling him that he needed lube to help “gape” open his wife’s vag.  Until I had to politely correct him that it was pronounced differently. haha

Many adult shops have the testers and even trial packets, I recommend trying this lube out, it might end up being one of your “comfy jeans” in the drawer.

Find it

Many adult shops carry the System Jo line, so be sure to support your local adult shops and give them a visit. I’d recommend giving them a ring beforehand.

Overall

To sum up my experiences and my thoughts on System Jo’s Agape would be rounded into one word: Basic.  Not in a basic bitch type of way.  It’s just a basic lube that isn’t bad but it isn’t something I go raving on and on about.  I keep it because it does all the basic things I want a water-based lube to do.  It’s just a necessity I like to have around when I want something compatible with a toy or I don’t feel like using it for extra stuff like tasting good.  The bottle is a bit annoying in comparison to their old awesome pump but it’s not a dealbreaker that makes me not use the lube in general.  This is one of my favorites from the System Jo lineup of lubes and you should give it a whirl.  🙂

ID Hero Cool Blast | Review

hero-coolblast-logo
My inner geek and fascination with super heroes is in love with the whole branding and packaging for ID Hero Cool Blast.  But, my realistic hoity toity side felt the whole look was a bit cheesey.  It gave me a sense of false hope that it was more novelty than a real product.  Probaly, that’s why it took me so long to take the product seriously to actually  give it a try.  Which sucks because it ended up being one of my favorite cooling lubes out there.

product-coolblast-1ID Hero Cool Blast is a water based lubricant that is made with Mentha Piperita oil aka peppermint oil to create a fun cooling effect.  Cooling lubricants such as the Cool Blast give a new type of sensation and this one isn’t the type that reacts with friction or a blowing effect.  On contact within minutes, it will create a mild sensation and it intensifies from there.  I found it to be refreshing especially during the peak of those hot Californian summer nights.  **cool down**  Also, during a longer diy session that gets too hot.

product-coolblast-3This lube is clear, with a viscosity that is medium to thick density which makes it easier to apply and glides on with ease.  The Cool Blast thickness almost gives a mild cushion between skin to skin/toy contact so it allows you, to feel that friction isn’t going to happen.  It’s great for a glide just for the clit.

Just keep in mind, since it is a water-based lubricant, it has  tendency to evaporate after awhile.  This lube dried out fast for me and when it did, ID Hero Cool Blast became really tacky and I needed to add a bunch more.  It left that “I just used lube”thin layer feel on the skin but its fine after a simple soap and water wash down.

Just a tip, The cap is a bit annoying with the snap off closure and the constant open and close has a tendency to break off after time… or dropping it on hard surfaces. >_<

product-coolblast-2I find any type of cooling lubricant is more of a once in a blue moon to spice things up type of lubricant.  ID Hero Cool Blast  is awesome when you are a bit bored and need to take it up a notch but I don’t recommend it every day.   If you have  a temperamental vagina like mine, it messes up with my ecosystem down there and I have to take a visit to the doctor instead of another round of sexy time sessions.

I have only encountered one person who voiced their opinion that they haven’t liked this lube.  The cooling sensation was a little extreme for her and after she used the lube she had irritation on her inner labia lips and she got a yeast infection.
Other than that, anyone who’s wanted to try out a cooling lube including myself have enjoyed it. 😀 There is many more from the ID Heroes line to choose but give the cooling and warming lubes a try. 😛

product-coolblast-4

Dr. Pink’s CoCo Lube | Review

cocoGirl

When I grabbed Dr. Pink’s CoCo Lube, the first thing I did was look on the back of the cute white little tub.

I don’t know what I was expecting out of something that straight up tells you it is “Coco Lube”.  Maybe I was expecting glitter fairy dust or radioactive lava that melts you into an orgasm.  But, SURPRISE! Ingredients:  100% Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil.

Not complaining too much since I’ve never tried any type of oil anywhere near my goodie bits but I have used Coconut oil for cooking, a skin moisturizer and my hair! Why not add sexual lubricant to the list.

Since, it’s all natural, it is edible but it doesn’t have a taste really.  It has a faint smell but not overbearing.  Coconut oil has shorter molecules so it absorbs into the walls of the vagina with ease, so you can use it internally.

When I got mine, it wasn’t stored in a cool dry environment and keep in mind I live in Southern California where the temperatures have been way above the recommended 75 degrees and below. The Coco lube started to leak a bit and after awhile the label started to peel. So, remember to store it safely. 😛

The Coco Lube is labeled as a “balm” just like any regular coconut oil it starts off as a solid in a cool state.  Once it hits your skin it warms up the solid and melts gently onto the skin.  CocoLube becomes a nice slip and slide of a lube since it’s oil that glides on the skin.  It isn’t safe to use with toys unless it’s hard glass and acrylic toys.  It also isn’t safe to use with latex condoms, so finding a different type of birth control and STD/STI prevention would have to be arranged.

96070-organic-virgin-coconut-oilIt has anti-microbial and anti-bacterial properties so if you are prone to get bacterial/yeast/urinary tract infections it helps to prevent all that.

So, pretty much if you are “all-natural” this would be your go-to.

Pros:  Anti-fungal, Anti-yeast, Anti-bacterial properties. It’s all natural.  Keeps skin hydrated and the oil-y slick feel decreases friction.

Cons: Can’t use it with half of my toys because oil breaks down jelly and silicone toys. Can’t use it to have safe-sex because I can’t use it with condoms.

REAL TALK. It’s extra virgin coconut oil in a cute white tub. haha But, it is easier to get some people to hop on the natural train with the rest of the hippies. ;P

But, since I’m kinda in a dry spell, self-love with solid non-porous toys and Cocolube is great! haha go grab it guys!

überlube | Review

uberlube-logo-u-grayUltimately, überlube is my favorite silicone lubricant by far.  Period.

No wonder, I’ve been asked multiple times lately, “If it’s your favorite silicone lube, then why haven’t you wrote a Review on it?”  and… I have no clue.  haha 😀  I talk it up and put it on a pedestal in person but I haven’t expressed my love for it on the internets! So, here I go!
ELF I'm in love!

When, I first saw überlube’s packaging I was  taken a bit off guard. With it’s chic look, their bottle didn’t look like majority of the lubricant bottles out there and it immediately made me want to have it on my shelf.   Uberlube comes in a 61Lpc38vcoL._SY355_plain glass bottle with a convenient pump ***ONE OF MY FAVORITE FEATURES** that has white and silver accents.  The bottle’s appearance isn’t abrasive and if you left it out on a nightstand, a passerby wouldn’t really look twice since it has the appearance of a fragrance bottle.  It looks high end, just like the actual quality of the lubricant.   So, if you’d like to judge a book by it’s cover, this is a prime example where it’s okay to do just that. 😀  The appearance is welcoming and everyone that i’ve introduced it to with issues that lubricant is a crutch, have all seen past that.  The simplicity allows you to think of just the product inside the bottle instead of all of the writing on the packaging that tells you why you supposedly  need to buy and use it.

Now, with any  sexual lubricant you have to be cautious with the ingredients.  But, with Uberlube it literally has 4 ingredients:  Dimethicone, Dimethiconal, Cyclomethicone, Tocopheryl Acetate (Vitamin E).  That’s it!  uberlubeHeartsamplesIt doesn’t contain all the extra add-ons like flavors, scents and all that warming, cooling crap that has the possibility of causing irritation or infections.   Since, I’m like majority of the girls out there, I have a temperamental vagina that hates anything that invades this ecosystem.  It’s sensitive and has feelings and tells me with vengeance if it doesn’t like something.  überlube is one of the few silicone lubricants I don’t have any issues with my ecosystem down there AND that’s saying a lot.  Keep in mind there is a small sliver of people out in the world that have a silicone allergy, (I haven’t met one yet) so OBVIOUSLY don’t use it if you have that allergy.  But, I found it to be the best for being body-safe and you can use it with condoms.

As for the viscosity levels, I always describe Uberlube like a slip ‘n slide!  Smooth, thin and has the consistency like an oil but it really isn’t.  Yes, it has a little bit of vitamin E but that keeps the skin moisturized while the silicone lays on the top layer of the skin and keeps friction at bay.  But, unlike some lubricants, it doesn’t feel heavy, thick, rubbery, tacky or drags.   It’s so thin that it allows intimacy to have a very small barrier.   I personally, never pay attention much to the descriptions that companies say about their product because I could say that i’m made of gold but am I really?  They can say all the crap they want, but Uberlube actually pinpoints every thing where I can’t even deny or use any other way to describe it.  Like, the fact that it’s featherweight.  SO TRUE.  Uberlube is the type of lubricant that you need to feel it, to understand what I mean.  But, once you use it, it’s hard to go back to any other brand of silicone lubricant since you start playing the comparison game.

uberlubeshipmentMy only downer is that since it is a silicone lubricant, it isn’t compatible with certain toys depending on what it is made of.  I suggestive that you help your toy’s life span, set it aside and only use uberlube if it made of Metal, Glass or acrylic.

Uses!! This is where the fun part comes into play.  I literally use uberlube for everything.  (It almost reminds me of that Ren & Stimpy episode about Salve. The USES are endless.)  But, I’ll give you a little look into my life as to what I use it for.

  • My main use.  Just regular ol’ sex.  Masturbation or with a partner for Vaginal and it’s pretty swell for Anal.  It keeps everything going and if you want to have shower sex,  Uberlube stays on the skin without washing away with quickness.
  • Uberlube is a great tattoo conditioner.  If you have a freshly done tattoo, Uberlube avoids the tattoo from drying out and getting itchy.  Also, it brightens it up to look “fresh”, especially if you have color.  But, my main suggestion is for the healing process, so it doesn’t look like a hot mess when the tattoo starts peeling.
  • You can use it as a VERY LIGHT makeup primer.   If you put a light layer on the skin, your foundation will just glide on.  Great when you want your makeup to last longer and you don’t want heavy coverage.
  • If you own a Dipbrow pomade, they have a tendency to dry out if left open. One dot of Uberlube, swirl it around and it rehydrates your pot and it’s as good as new! This has helped my eyebrow game to stay on point.
  • If you have allergies, you may get irritation from blowing your nose a lot.  Apply a little of Uberlube and it helps soothe the skin and heal faster.  Plus, this feels way better on the skin than putting on a layer of thick vaseline.
  • I also, apply it to my hair to keep it looking shiny and healthy since I have super colored hair.

The options are endless!

haha Best Uberlube Snapchat ever sent to me!
haha Best Uberlube Snapchat ever sent to me!

  • If you experience vaginal dryness, from age or allergies or because you are on a cruddy birth control, this is great to apply to decrease friction during the day or during sex.
  • I did read that marathon users use it to decrease friction but that’s not really my jam and I haven’t tried that. haha But, I’m sure it works great with that. ((avid couch potato girl here))

A little goes a long way and one of their 100ml bottles lasts me months.  They have various sizes 50ml, 100ml, and travel size bottles.  The travel size bottle has a container to prevent it from breaking and comes in white, silver and black.  They are pretty affordable and I think you really get your money’s worth.   You can find them in a lot of adult shops or purchase it on their website, www.uberlube.com.

uberlube-logo-full

 


If you’d like to give Uberlube a try, I do have a few samples.   Just email me with your Snail Mail address and I’ll send one out to you,  Jade@HankyPankyHarlot.com