Tag Archives: qa

Is sex better slow or fast, does it even matter? | Q&A

Question and Answer time!

Question: “For women, is sex better slow movement or fast movement better or does it even matter? Some women have said just do what makes you feel good.”

Let’s see, Sex is like a nice car drive. Each car is different just like a woman. Some women are like a sports car, depending on the road conditions, some like it fast. Some women are like classic lowrider cars, where a slow and steady cruise is perfect to enjoy the ride.  Road conditions also determine the drive, like the libido levels, attraction to the scenery and stamina to be able to go the distance.

 

Each person out there has different preferences, whether you’re a woman or a man.  Intercourse is just one of those topics that need to be discussed with your partner.  The discussion could be verbal or if you have a great connection, then you can gauge on one another’s body language. Verbal GPS instructions during sex are always nice, a “Yes, Yes, YES!” might just possibly mean your motion is going in the right direction.

I know I’m not giving you a direct answer, but with only a small percentage of women being able to orgasm vaginally from internal stimulation alone, I’m talking a measly 25-30%.  When a woman says “do what makes you feel good”, it could go both ways.  I’m not saying she’s just a human masturbation sleeve that you’re sticking it in.  It could mean, she is part of the glorious 25-30% that can orgasm and gets her kicks from intercourse alone.  If you get a good rhythmic motion going on consistently hitting the insides in just the right spot you could be hitting the G-spot,  U-spot or A spot, which could lead to a good orgasm.

Those women might be saying whatever speed you’re doing is connecting with their needs and what they want.  It could also mean that she likes it similar to a massage because orgasms and finishing the race isn’t her #1 priority and the act is more gratifying. I know every partner is different and maybe they are taking you for a test drive. You can ride it any way you want to be able to see if they match with your skills.

Just remember, you like your penis touched (right?) and imagine trying to achieve an orgasm where a person is just hovering their hand over your dick and expecting a magical “sex explosion” outcome.  Sexually intercourse for women sometimes is just like that.  Our Clit is RIGHT there, it’s only purpose in life is to have an orgasm and it goes unnoticed.  So, give her clit some love while having intercourse sex whether it’s vaginally or anally… Multi-task!

Road Conditions make a drive different.  One aspect could be her cycle, the “moon sickness” time like right before her period her libido levels could be increased and she wants it fast.  Or another time she might want sex slow & steady to feel the fullness and more connected.  Or possibly, doing a gradual sex adventure session going 0 to 100mph over time might be on the agenda.  Those Sportscar women may like to go fast but sometimes taking in the moment and cruising top-down might be what she likes. You have to try it out and see what the road conditions are in front of you.

The horizontal hustle is a dance, it takes two to tango.  Some are rhythmically in sync and sometimes you might need to try new moves and positions that might make the motions go together.  This can make the motions of slow or fast come naturally where you don’t have to question your thrusts.

I did a little poll on Instagram for a day, and just as I expected. It’s all over the place. why? because we never know what we want or feels good until its happening with a certain person, time or place. haha

When you're having (intercourse) sex, do you like the movement fast? 76%-Yes 24%-Noor DO you like the movement slow? 68%-Yes 35%-Noor Does Speed matter to you? 72%-YES 28%-No

A simple, “oh, you like that?” might even help during sex. Also, switching it up from fast sessions to slow sessions, makes things interesting and not monotonous. Keep it Spicy …and Sorry for all the car metaphors but it came naturally while answering this for you. 🙂 haha   <3

 

“I can’t find Climax Anal Bursts. Can you share a link to find it?”

“I can’t find Climax Anal Bursts. I don’t want to buy it off of Amazon… It’s not a matter of life or death, but i’m running low… Can you share a link to find it?” -H

Haha I get what you’re putting out there. I usually like to stock up on something when I get 1/4th of the bottle left.  Climax Bursts Anal Lube is the jam and Topco has been making this thing for like for-ev-er.

I always say, if it works and you like it, Keep with it.  I’ve recommended this to “R” 5 years ago and he’s kept with it.  In case you’ve never heard of it, Climax Bursts Anal lubricant is a water-based lubricant and is compatible with most anal toys.  It stays slick and wet longer. It even has these crazy little “bursts” and dots that you can visibly see that actually are vitamin E, so it keeps the anal cavity walls nice and lubricated.

I searched around and it seems to be a bit hit or miss. Since, you don’t want to buy off Amazon (privacy reasons– he shares the Amazon account with family members & By the way, Make sure you aren’t signed in when you are searching for these items because it’ll show up everywhere. “HEY YOU SEARCHED FOR BUTT LUBE you should try this!!”… get what I mean? lol)

I recommend Adam & Eve. They are Norton approved and have a 4.7 on Google Customer Ratings. Along with lubricant they have a little bit of everything adult oriented so you can go hog wild on there.

Climax Bursts Anal Lubricant – 11 oz, Adam & Eve has it for only $11.95.

They are backordered at the moment and possibly why you haven’t seen them in stores.  But, since it’s not a matter of life or death, if you can wait 10 days… It shows it will be in stock then. So, you might even want to stock up while you can.

Hope that was helpful to you & my followers and it was great hearing from you, H.

 

I don’t feel comfortable being topless yet.

“You helped me find lingerie 2 years ago and found me some sexy lingerie that worked with my body.  I got My boobs done and now I have more options, the thing is My scarring around my nipples are still showing a lot. Is there a bra top that you’d recommend?  I don’t feel comfortable being topless yet.”

Hello sweetheart!

First, Congrats on the boob job!  That’s awesome you decided to enhance your body on how you see fit.   I know you want a lingerie piece but have you thought of pasties? And if you want to be even more sexier, have you seen skin adornments or skin jewelry?

You’d be able to wear whatever you want, your nipples will still show, your new boobies can show, all while your scars are somewhat hidden.  Camouflaged, would be the best word to describe it.

My favorite brand to recommend is Bijoux Indiscrets.  A company who combines classy and sexy. Their skin jewelry is very similar to pasties, that adhesives to the skin but doesn’t cover the nipple completely.  These type of skin jewelry adorns and highlights the nipple without concealing one’s natural beauty.

Click here to see all of Bijoux Indescrets line of skin jewelry. 

Click here to see the Mimi Pasties from Good Vibrations.com $18

If that doesn’t appeal to you, you can always wear a body stocking or mesh materials that covers like a soft screen over your body that still shows off your curves without showing your scars in plain sight.

My GF asked me to get her a dildo. I keep striking out. What do I get?

“My girlfriend asked me to get her a dildo. I keep striking out. What do I get?”

My advice is to buy one together.  Communication is always key.  It’s super hard to make decisions sometimes… I’m a prime example of indecisive girl.  So I KNOW!

You probably just want to go in the store, buy it and be done with the Dildo mission.  But, next time why don’t you guys pre-party and go to a sex shop together.  You might not even buy anything at the time but you guys can window shop and look at various shapes, sizes, colors, vibrating or non-vibrating dildos.  See what’s out there and do the lovely process of elimination.  I say go into a shop since shopping online gets a bit hectic with having so many options.

While, you’re at it… Whisper sweet nastiness in her ear of how you can’t wait to see her use it while you’re shopping. If she’s freaky like that.   Or be a concerning partner, and ask her what she thinks would feel good or is body-safe.

Or if all else fails. Grab a Clone-a-Willy kit! It’s a kit to mold your penis and bam! Dildo á la you! They also have the option for a vibrating version of you! The Kits comes in regular flesh tones and vibrant glow-in-dark colors too.  This will not only get giggles out of her but it shows that you put effort into getting her a dildo.  A LOT of effort since you got to take some time out of your day and stick your dick in a tube with some gunk.  Haha

I know you wanted me to just say THIS IS THE —ONE— MAGICAL DILDO that all FEMALES WANT! But sorry not sorry, there are too many dildos in the world… just like humans. Too many opinions. Too many choices.

Hit me back up if you got any more info I can work with to help you with the process of elimination.

My hands are so rough…What does a girl have to do to give him a handjob without feeling like a cheese grater?

“…It’s embarrassing. My hands are so rough because of  work and they are rougher than his.  I want to touch him without being embarrassed. What does a girl have to do to give him a handjob without feeling like a cheese grater?  I’m sure his penis is confused when I give him a blowjob since my hand feels like a man but my mouth feels like a woman…”

Holy crap, woman. I love you hahaha You went from 0 to 100 and it made reading my messages so entertaining this morning. For once it’s not another butt stuff question. Haha. First off, I think you are fabulous for being a woman who works with her hands.

I’m sure everyone and their moms are telling you with their bougie voices, “OHHHH just get a manicure!!!” 0_0 I get it. You’re not alone, I have a body builder galfriend who has the same woes as you. Manicures aren’t going to fix the constant roughness and I don’t expect you to plan your sex life around your last skin treatment.

Like most things in the adult toy industry, there are products out there that you didn’t even know existed. Haha Some require a bit of prep work and are a bit …different looking.  I know in the back of your head, you’re wishing you could just replace your hands or cove glove and you’re good! …and when I say funky… I really mean it.

The reason I think they are funky isn’t because of their purpose, it’s because I’m judging a book by its cover.  They make it so you have to literally put yourself out there and put on your most sexy face on, put some skanky lingerie and some “f*ck me” hells on because the contraptions look like your going to attack his junk and it’s gonna hurt hahaha it’s not… but it looks like it.  I don’t personally know you but from what you’re asking for these might not be it. But I’m gonna show you anyways so I’m not leaving anything out. This gloves are literally squishy similar to the material of stretchy cock rings. So, you’d have to lube your hands up a bit to put it on or else your hands are going to be skidding on in. Then, you lube up his member with a water-based lubricant and get down to handjob town. They can be used on you as well, if you like to play crotch dj on yourself. BUT, they look like a hot mess. Almost like you’re trying too hard, which isn’t sexy. Thus, the reason why you might have to compensate looking sexy because this glove will put you down a few notches on the sexy scale. Haha He might not even think it’s that big of deal in comparison to you. But let’s keep the ball rolling.

What I’d love to recommend is just getting a sleeve. They come in all shapes, colors, sizes, and various textures. It’s a bit easier to just grab a sleeve, insert it and stroke it. Sleeves also allow you to be able to gauge on how much pressure you’d like to give him.

Made by the folks at Blush Novelties, this small stroker enhances a handy with its ribbed inside and is Glow in the Dark!

I think the ones that literally the size of your palms and are only a couple of inches are perfect! It won’t take away too much from the visual appeal of the hand job and make it look like you aren’t shoving his dick in some weird rubber orfice.

The ultimate BJ Helper from Doc Johnson. A small sleeve with soft massaging beads inside to give great shaft pleasure.

These smaller sleeves are great if you want to do a handjob and blowjob combo since it allows space for your mouth on top. Which is also helpful if you want the effect that you’re deepthroating but you just can’t get it all in there so you can stroke the shaft and give him pleasure that way as well.

Softest glove you’ll ever love! Haha Simple and straight to the point. It’s a masturbation sleeve. That’s all haha

There are longer sleeve for the more well endowed man… OR! To cover the penis completely and won’t let your hand scrape him up “cheese grater style”. Haha 😛 It also is nice to give a great massage on the head of the penis going up and down since it’ll feel like its being inserted into whatever hole his imagination is working with.

This stroker has been a big seller to many men. Doc Johnson got it right when it came to this one for the larger penis owners. 😀

Keep in mind some of the longer sleeves have an open end and others have a closed end for easier cleanup.

Vibrates has this “love glove” called Maven and it’s a closed ended masturbation sleeve. It looks like a some sea creature out of water but it does the trick!

 

Oldie but goodie! This has been around for awhile but customer keep coming back for it.

You could also just go the Fleshlight route but it really depends because it’s not in true handy-fashion. Haha

If you feel you can get away with trying a super awesome lubricant. Why not try using Stroke 29.

This masturbation cream has one mission in life and that is just to stroke a dick. It’s not made for sex or condoms but it’s a hit for a man’s solo time!

This masturbation cream  has natural oils in it so I don’t recommend hopping on after your hand-y session since it’ll mess up with your vag’s ph balance.  Stick to hands since the ingredients aren’t compatible with normal stuff like condoms.  This cream gives enough friction to give pleasure but glides for great sensation. I’ve had several male customers become fans of it.

I gave a handful of suggestions of adult products you can try. You can snag any of these online or at your nearest adult boutique. They will have many other similar items. Just remember if you guys have a latex allergy you might have to choice a stroker made out of silicone (I can send recommendations if that’s the case). I commend you for trying your best to pleasure your man even against all odds haha and I hope this helped! <3


If anyone would like to try out a trial size packet of Stroke 29, I can snail mail it to you! Just send me a $1 for postage 😀

Go to: https://cash.me/$hankypankyharlot and under “optional note” write your Name & mailing address! <3 I’ll mail it the following day!

“I lost my Magic Wand charging cord when I moved, where can I get a replacement?”

“I lost my Magic Wand charging cord when I moved, where can I get a replacement? “

Toys nowadays are transitioning into the lovely rechargeable era.  Where the whole toy or partial of the toy is rechargeable. As much as we want to say Sayonara to batteries… there are moments like these when we will still need them or want to praise them.  Like when? The times when you forget to charge your toy OR the lovely times when you lose the charging cord and you just need a quickie! Haha

I’ve lost a bunch of chargers before haha but thank god the other toys I have from the line are compatible. The same can’t be said for the Magic Wand rechargeable version. Haha It’s a pretty unique charger so…

This post is for the THREE lovely ladies that misplaced your cord!  Don’t toss your Rechargeable Magic Wand out just yet!  and don’t fret and listen to all those other people who keep telling you that you “HAVE” to just buy a new Magic wand.  Save your moneyzzzz!

Check out the Good Vibrations website!
They sell just the charger cable cord by itself!
It’s only $24.95 

There are other websites that sell the charging cord but they are a smidgen higher in price.

 

I know some of you hate buying things online, so I’m working on getting it in person but if you want it ASAP,  snag a cord from the reputable Good Vibrations website.

Hope that helps out you wand princesses!

I Need Butt Help.

What’s up BUTTercup?

“So, my boyfriend guy and I are adventuring with my butt. But neither of us have ever actually done it so where should we start?”

Butt stuff is such a fun adventure!  I will and always tell people that doing butt stuff is the most intimate thing you can do with your partner.  Soooooo much trust and prep go into butt stuff to make it enjoyable for both partners.

I’m pretty sure that your adventure’s end goal is having his penis inside your bum BUT!!…  that’s down the road.  Remember, that you need to go slow.  *womp womp* Slow and steady wins the race. (That’s even hard for me to say since I have no patience and like to sprint and get ‘errr done.) Just remember that if you put in the prep and work beforehand it’ll be a hell of a lot easier.  When a few factors align like both partners realize that the bottom is the one in charge, you know how your bodies react, and you have everything set up like a map your bodies will tell you what to do. 😛

When a person says they’d like to get into butt stuff, there is usually the assumption that something is inevitably going to be stuck in their “no-no” hole. Which causes them to push the panic button.  But, DUDE!!! There are sooooo many ways to stimulate the butt without ever actually sticking anything in.  I love to recommend people to just play with the exterior before the interior.  The part that you see actually is the most sensitive since all the nerve endings are right there at the opening.  A fun thing to start with is just putting pressure on the anus while having sex or just plain masturbating.   A niiice… butthole massage you can say.   Or, You can always start with eating the booty like groceries, so you can get familiar with the different sensations down there.

buttvolutionI love being a female since we have so many holes haha and you could always wear a small butt plug to get used to the feeling and just bone regular all vag-penner stylez.   But, your best sex toy is you or your partner’s hands, because not only are they significantly smaller than other things you want to stick in.  Your hands can feel everything, from friction and if you need to add more lube or if the butt is ready to take more in.   Use my butt-volution guideline: finger… then when your butt seems more, relax & add a second finger… maybe a butt plug…  or maybe a dildo… you can always add a third finger if you’re skilled and then finally you —ease— in a penis.

Stick it in to see how it feels, don’t automatically start pumping with quickness unless YOU KNOW you are ready for that. ( plus, if you pump too fast, you’ll regret it tomorrow when you feel the constant urge to poo haha)

If you’re going the finger route, use your joints as a ruler to gauge the steps. buttrulerGetting into that butt, one joint at a time.  Or you can get a fun butt toy that has various nubs to play with.

Everything depends when it comes to sex in general, but sometimes with butt sex you won’t even get past the finger or two finger steps on the butt-volution scale. Don’t get discouraged, butt stuff is a process.

You could always put a buttplug in to get your butt ready too! Some even have cute jewels, so you can let your partner know what’s on the menu tonight. haha  But, I recommend a nice glass toy with my favorite lube, PJUR back door.  It’s the only way I can get down with the anal and it has Jojoba oil, a natural muscle relaxant to calm those butt muscles down to take down the “thou shall not enter” sign.  Also, it’s just great for exterior!  😉 booty massages. lol

These are some of my other posts for Anal Sex:

Please check those out.  Relax! Anal sex is quite enjoyable if you do it right.  If it hurts, stop because we are suppose to be having fun duhhhh.

((Love you A! <3 Snap me if you need anything else))

I want to get her a buttplug to leave in while we are having sex.

“I want my girlfriend to enjoy anal and I want to get her a buttplug to leave in while we are having sex. What can I buy that isn’t too big for her?”

Whoa! Your question has been burning a hole in my inbox! I’ve had multiple people ask me the same type of question a gazillion times in just the span of a week.

I love that everyone is going on a double penetration adventure together!  Bringing that double stuffed oreo feeling to the table is a bit intimidating for some and other just want to say, “it’s on like donkey kong!”.  So, I’ve introduced this trio of butt plugs to everyone! This set starts with a itty bitty plug, the size of a big man’s finger and then it gradually gets bigger.

You can give her the option!  This might put her at ease and make her realize she can upgrade to the next size when she feels ready.  Or for whatever mood she might be in.  Some days you might wanna go big. *shrug* it’s up to the bottom.

curve_rumprockers2

This trio of buttplugs is a set from Curve Novelties, called Rump Rockers from their Gossip line of toys.   I honestly didn’t give this a chance at first since the packaging was pretty basic, the name… the early 2000’s looking graphics on the front.  It just didn’t scream buy me, not because it wasn’t a good toy. It just looked so plain but I often forget that the most basic toys are the best toys.   I saw it in person… out of the box at the SHE Expo, ridiculously shocked since all of their products are pretty decent but their packaging just threw  me off . It only costs a measly $25 that includes 3 butt plugs made out of 100% silicone AND it’s the nice soft satin finished kind of silicone. You really can’t say No.  It’s not aggressive looking and it’s an adorable way to say, “hey babe, let’s fill those holes”.  haha

Pair this with a great water-based anal lubricant and you’re good to go. <3

Hit me up if you’d like to snag one of these sets, it comes in pink or purple! I know it’s a bit of a mission to find online. <3


Follow my blog with Bloglovin

What fake dick should I buy?

I got a series of Drunk snapchats from a girly while I was in the theater watching “How to be Single” after I posted this snapchat:

New Q&A (link in bio) lol I got a few drunken snaps from a girl, which all came about from this snap. “What fake dick should I buy?”

A video posted by Xox Jade 🐙💕🎀 (@hankypankyharlot) on

Continue reading What fake dick should I buy?

“What’s the benefits of glass over other materials?”

Besides being pretty AF? 0_0 haha Sooo many things!  I’m still shocked that even after everybody and their mom’s hopped on the coconut oil train, that they haven’t boarded with a first class ticket on the glaaaasssssss express.    I think it’s because everybody JUST doesn’t know all the amazing benefits, and probably because there isn’t a buzzfeed video on that yet. haha 😛

A lot of people don’t think twice on the materials of toys.  Partially because they don’t realize that the sex toy industry isn’t regulated and MAINLY because many toy companies spent that extra 2 cents to put “BODY SAFE” on their packaging.  Just because a packaging claims to shoot lasers and bring all the orgasms in the world to that puss puss, doesn’t always mean it’s accurate.

I usually put an array of dongs in front of a person and just tell them to smell it.  The cheap Jelly toys have a pungent smell, that it makes things a lot easier to tell a person that if they feel comfortable putting a toy that smells like a barbie in their cooch then, cool no big deal.  But, for the others that do get concerned, it’s an eye opener.  It doesn’t take a scientist to understand that certain materials if it has a softer jelly material it’s flexible and expands.  This flexibility allows it to move and bend around like a slinkie with a “pore” like exterior.  Those mini folds, pores and rolls open up like “HAYYYYY BACTERIA, move in! it’s nice in here!”  These porous toys hinder bacteria that can cause irritation and spread STI’s if you are sharing and is just plain not clean and gross.  Let’s not even go over how we don’t even know what the hell is in the materials they make some of those toys with.

I’m like a level 12 Doctor aka I’ve watched all 11 and now going on 12 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy haha So, I have this imagination that tells me that everything that isn’t hygienic is going to give me cancer or lead to a plane crash.  I know that is a little extreme haha but it’s my body and if I don’t take care of it, who will? (…McDreamy?McSteamy?  oh! a girl can dream.)  So, after that huge rant and rambling! haha

Benefit #1:  If Sex Toys had an OCD friend, it would be Glass Toys.   Super Hygienic.

  • No funky smells from the materials.  You won’t feel like a barbie is going inside you.
  • You won’t have allergic reactions to certain types of materials since we have no clue what they make some of those toys with.
  • You won’t have to  do the bothersome chore on having to put a condom on it if it isn’t compatible with your body, lube, etc etc.
  • It isn’t porous so the hidden bacteria that you can’t see,  will not be camping out in there. #nosquatters

Benefit #2: You can use any Lubricant you want!

This is probably my favorite feature for glass toys.

  • I love using silicone lubricants since it stays on longer without having to reapply (especially if it deals with Butt Stuff) and it feels nice on the skin.   With most toys, silicone lube isn’t compatible and has a tendency to break materials down.  So, BIG YES! You can use glass with silicone lube.
  • Back at the beginning of this post, I talked about coconut oil, and YES! you can use coconut oil with glass toys! I love recommending this combo for my fancy hippy friends. 😛

Benefit #3: The cleanup is the best part!

  • Probably one of the easier toys to clean because of the smooth surface!
  • You can sterilize the toy by doing the boiling water method, a bleach solution,  or You can also just drop it in the dishwater, if you sooooo desire!
  • You can use just regular ol’ toy cleaner and have the reassuring feeling that you cleaned your toy and since isn’t a porous toy, you got it cleaned up real good in comparison to the other toys out there.
  • Sharing is Caring. If you choose to share toys, your cleanup sanitizing routine will keep it cleaner than other type of materials.   You’ll have toys so “spic ‘n span”, shiny clean that you minimize your chances of transferring germs, bacteria and other sexually transmitted diseases.

Benefit #4:  Temperature sensitive.

  • If you love cold temperature play. You can cool it down with a bowl of cold water and ice.  OR! You can shove that glass toy in the freezer for a bit.
  • Or maybe you make like it hot! I’m a human chihuahua and love that glass toys heat up fairly quickly to the temperature of my body so i’m not shivering away in bed with a sex toy.  So, if you want you can do the bowl of water trick as well but with warm water.    ***TIP:  One of my favorite customers, recommended putting a bowl of silicone lube in the microwave for a few seconds and dunking your glass toy in it.  *warm and cozy*  I personally haven’t tried that but they also seem to have an over abundance of lube handy as well that I don’t have haha. ***

Benefit #5:  DUNK it and do some Water Play!

  • There is only like 1 % of glass toys that vibrate but majority of them are just plain ol’ glass with no electronic stuff.  Which means great for Water play! You can dunk them, you can go into a jacuzzi without the fear of frying your toy, you can do nuru massages with it.

 

I get that people are like “WHOA, that’s glass, it’s hard, won’t that hurt?” well, dicks get really hard sometimes too so it’s kinda the same thing. haha 😛 I Love recommending just sliding the toy over skin and that feels great too.

I also, get that people are afraid of toys breaking.   These toys are made from a strong glass similar to Pyrex cookware.  So, it really takes a lot for it to shatter.  I’m not saying drop it on a hard surface but you really have to bang it around to break it.

yes, Glass toys aren’t all vibrate-y and have crazy gas powered motors but you’d be surprised about how a simple glass toy might turn out to be one of your favorites.  Since, there are many glass toy companies popping up everywhere, the prices have dropped tremendously and you can get a glass toy for decent prices now.

Glass toys are just another great addition for a  sex toy collection.  I love recommending fun glass butt plugs (so you can use Pjur’s Backdoor Silicone glide with Jojoba oil),  Glass Wands with a curve (Great for G-spot stimulation and squirting, and also anal gapping) and glass kegel exercises if you’re brave!

Haha Hope that helped!