Tag Archives: lubricant

System Jo Agape Water-Based Lube | Lube Review

Finding a Water-based lubricant that you might like, is like finding the perfect pair of jeans. System Jo Agape Lube is like that comfortable pair of jeans that you always go back to. A comfy pair that you keep in the drawer for that rainy day. I’ve had this comfy lube in my line up for years and never gave it the limelight it deserves. 🙂

First Impression

When you are walking down the lube aisle or looking at the OVERWHELMING lube section on a website, the Agape’s appearance is “safe” looking and sometimes camouflages with the other bottles around it. With a frosty white label alongside with lavender and silver accents, its soft appearance is literally geared towards the female consumer psyche. (Good job System Jo packaging team! 😉 ) Agape’s inviting bottle has a comforting appeal.  Think of it as a visually appealing easy introduction for partners who are trying to find a simple lube to propose during their next sexy time session. I was a bigger fan of their older bottles which had an awesome pump but they changed their bottle to have an easy push down-flip top now.

Unlike me, you’re probably not going to do what I usually do, and that’s where I literally open every single lube tester bottle to feel the consistency and take a whiff if it smells good or funky.  Which I recommend, but if you do what everyone does and read the packaging where it shows a bunch of information and makes sure it checks down the “Temperamental vagina’s Lube” checklist.

  • glycerin-free
  • glycol-free
  • paraben-free

Which this lube checks out! Not only does it pass the water-based basic lube checklist.  This lube comes in various sizes to accommodate your needs, 1 fl. oz. easy for travel, and a 2 fl. oz. or 4 fl. oz. for your home base!

What’s inside?

The ingredients inside are Water (Aqua), Propanediol, Gluconolactone, Hydroxyethylcellulose, Sodium Benzoate and Citric Acid. Haha Now take that confused look off your face because we aren’t all super scientists and know exactly what each of those things means. Heck, many people don’t even know exactly what they are eating with some of the processed foods out there.  These ingredients aren’t as crazy sounding as they look, so I’m just going to break it down for the “ingredient-driven” consumer in layman’s terms.

Propanediol is natural and made from corn sugar fermentation, all in all, it’s a preservative that keeps the first ingredient, Water, nice and moisturized. Gluconolactone gathers water from all directions and creates a layer on the skin that soothes and softens it. This ingredient replenishes the moisture in the lube from the air and hinders the moister from leaving the skin. Sodium benzoate either covers or enhances the scent or is used as a  preservative.  Hydroxyethylcellulose keeps all the ingredients together, it’s a thickening agent and citric acid keeps PH levels in check.

This combo of ingredients allows this lubricant to feel like a close 2nd place to a girl’s own “natural” jizz. It’s not as thick as many gel-like lubricants but its thin enough to glide over the skin.

“JO AGAPE is a water-based personal lubricant for penile and/or vaginal application, intended to lubricate and moisturize, to enhance the ease and comfort of intimate sexual activity and supplement the body’s natural lubrication.”

Using this lube is perfect to decrease friction when you use a toy or penis in vag use. Especially, if you want to kick start the lubrication process since cowboy’s lube aka spit or a girl’s natural lubrication will reactivate it.  Just a heads up, avoid using this one for anal, it tends to disappear too fast and isn’t that slippy and slide-y enough.  It’s a water-based so just remember it will get “sticky” and almost “tacky” if it evaporates without any water or natural juices added over a little bit of time.  You can use it for male masturbation but as I said it does evaporate a bit faster and you’d use an entire bottle.

Pros
  • Easy to find in adult shops
  • Doesn’t have a bunch of Water-based lube additives that tend to cause irritation and random health issues.
  • Doesn’t mess with PH vag levels, which can be great for chicks who are prone to yeast infections, BV and UTIs.
  • Easy to wash off.
  • Doesn’t leave weird goopy stuff on the skin afterward, absorbs into the skin like a nice moisturizing lotion.
  • Feels natural and not like a barrier between me and my partner.
  • Condom & Sex Toy-Friendly.
Cons
  • Has a distinctive smell, if it’s right up next to your nose. It almost smells like a playdough, barbies and cetaphil to me. Which, I don’t mind since I’m not sniffing it all the time. But, if you’re sensitive to smell, get a sample of this to test the waters if you like it or not.
  • Don’t eat this. Do Oral before and not after you apply this on the skin.  Agape doesn’t taste too good. It’s bitter, toxic tasting and leaves your palate undesirable for a hot minute or two.
  • Dries up quick.

I do recommend you put this aside for the moment if you just shaved your downstairs.  If your pores are open and have micro cuts this has a tendency to sting a bit.  I’ve only had it happen less than a handful of times but I just want to give you a heads up since I know a few girls who thought they were allergic to this one at first when they actually weren’t at all. They were just dipping citric acid into mini shaving cuts.

Also, it’s pronounced Ahh-GAH-PAYYY, not a-gape.  I had a guy get quite mad at me one time insinuating that I was telling him that he needed lube to help “gape” open his wife’s vag.  Until I had to politely correct him that it was pronounced differently. haha

Many adult shops have the testers and even trial packets, I recommend trying this lube out, it might end up being one of your “comfy jeans” in the drawer.

Find it

Many adult shops carry the System Jo line, so be sure to support your local adult shops and give them a visit. I’d recommend giving them a ring beforehand.

Overall

To sum up my experiences and my thoughts on System Jo’s Agape would be rounded into one word: Basic.  Not in a basic bitch type of way.  It’s just a basic lube that isn’t bad but it isn’t something I go raving on and on about.  I keep it because it does all the basic things I want a water-based lube to do.  It’s just a necessity I like to have around when I want something compatible with a toy or I don’t feel like using it for extra stuff like tasting good.  The bottle is a bit annoying in comparison to their old awesome pump but it’s not a dealbreaker that makes me not use the lube in general.  This is one of my favorites from the System Jo lineup of lubes and you should give it a whirl.  🙂

I want to get HOG WILD!! Wet® Boink N’ Oink Bacon Flavored Lubricant™ grabbed my attention

I’m such a sucker for packaging.   I’ve seen the whole bacon lube thing done before but it has been brought to my attention that Wet had a Bacon lube. Wet® Boink N’ Oink Bacon Flavored Lubricant™ to be exact. I searched it immediately and … that pig on the packaging.  Dat Pig tho…  SO DAMN CUTE. The place I usually go to for buying my stuff is out of stock of this right now but this is definitely on my shopping list haha

I think I just want it for the bottle but it’s a must have to give as a gag/ novelty gift… unless you are a bacon fan like me.  I’m hoping the taste won’t make me vom haha

But, last year…I saw that they had microwaveable bacon popcorn… and I didn’t have a microwave, so I seriously went out and bought a new microwave just to try the popcorn. lol  I think this might be another one of my silly impulse buys.  Thanks Wet… just take my money!

HASHTAG #### BACON ON EVERYTHING.

oink_gal1

“Boink n’ Oink” lol I think I need to find a partner so I can “0ink”.

Guide to choosing a Lube!

 Click to Enlarge!
How to choose a lube copy

überlube | Review

uberlube-logo-u-grayUltimately, überlube is my favorite silicone lubricant by far.  Period.

No wonder, I’ve been asked multiple times lately, “If it’s your favorite silicone lube, then why haven’t you wrote a Review on it?”  and… I have no clue.  haha 😀  I talk it up and put it on a pedestal in person but I haven’t expressed my love for it on the internets! So, here I go!
ELF I'm in love!

When, I first saw überlube’s packaging I was  taken a bit off guard. With it’s chic look, their bottle didn’t look like majority of the lubricant bottles out there and it immediately made me want to have it on my shelf.   Uberlube comes in a 61Lpc38vcoL._SY355_plain glass bottle with a convenient pump ***ONE OF MY FAVORITE FEATURES** that has white and silver accents.  The bottle’s appearance isn’t abrasive and if you left it out on a nightstand, a passerby wouldn’t really look twice since it has the appearance of a fragrance bottle.  It looks high end, just like the actual quality of the lubricant.   So, if you’d like to judge a book by it’s cover, this is a prime example where it’s okay to do just that. 😀  The appearance is welcoming and everyone that i’ve introduced it to with issues that lubricant is a crutch, have all seen past that.  The simplicity allows you to think of just the product inside the bottle instead of all of the writing on the packaging that tells you why you supposedly  need to buy and use it.

Now, with any  sexual lubricant you have to be cautious with the ingredients.  But, with Uberlube it literally has 4 ingredients:  Dimethicone, Dimethiconal, Cyclomethicone, Tocopheryl Acetate (Vitamin E).  That’s it!  uberlubeHeartsamplesIt doesn’t contain all the extra add-ons like flavors, scents and all that warming, cooling crap that has the possibility of causing irritation or infections.   Since, I’m like majority of the girls out there, I have a temperamental vagina that hates anything that invades this ecosystem.  It’s sensitive and has feelings and tells me with vengeance if it doesn’t like something.  überlube is one of the few silicone lubricants I don’t have any issues with my ecosystem down there AND that’s saying a lot.  Keep in mind there is a small sliver of people out in the world that have a silicone allergy, (I haven’t met one yet) so OBVIOUSLY don’t use it if you have that allergy.  But, I found it to be the best for being body-safe and you can use it with condoms.

As for the viscosity levels, I always describe Uberlube like a slip ‘n slide!  Smooth, thin and has the consistency like an oil but it really isn’t.  Yes, it has a little bit of vitamin E but that keeps the skin moisturized while the silicone lays on the top layer of the skin and keeps friction at bay.  But, unlike some lubricants, it doesn’t feel heavy, thick, rubbery, tacky or drags.   It’s so thin that it allows intimacy to have a very small barrier.   I personally, never pay attention much to the descriptions that companies say about their product because I could say that i’m made of gold but am I really?  They can say all the crap they want, but Uberlube actually pinpoints every thing where I can’t even deny or use any other way to describe it.  Like, the fact that it’s featherweight.  SO TRUE.  Uberlube is the type of lubricant that you need to feel it, to understand what I mean.  But, once you use it, it’s hard to go back to any other brand of silicone lubricant since you start playing the comparison game.

uberlubeshipmentMy only downer is that since it is a silicone lubricant, it isn’t compatible with certain toys depending on what it is made of.  I suggestive that you help your toy’s life span, set it aside and only use uberlube if it made of Metal, Glass or acrylic.

Uses!! This is where the fun part comes into play.  I literally use uberlube for everything.  (It almost reminds me of that Ren & Stimpy episode about Salve. The USES are endless.)  But, I’ll give you a little look into my life as to what I use it for.

  • My main use.  Just regular ol’ sex.  Masturbation or with a partner for Vaginal and it’s pretty swell for Anal.  It keeps everything going and if you want to have shower sex,  Uberlube stays on the skin without washing away with quickness.
  • Uberlube is a great tattoo conditioner.  If you have a freshly done tattoo, Uberlube avoids the tattoo from drying out and getting itchy.  Also, it brightens it up to look “fresh”, especially if you have color.  But, my main suggestion is for the healing process, so it doesn’t look like a hot mess when the tattoo starts peeling.
  • You can use it as a VERY LIGHT makeup primer.   If you put a light layer on the skin, your foundation will just glide on.  Great when you want your makeup to last longer and you don’t want heavy coverage.
  • If you own a Dipbrow pomade, they have a tendency to dry out if left open. One dot of Uberlube, swirl it around and it rehydrates your pot and it’s as good as new! This has helped my eyebrow game to stay on point.
  • If you have allergies, you may get irritation from blowing your nose a lot.  Apply a little of Uberlube and it helps soothe the skin and heal faster.  Plus, this feels way better on the skin than putting on a layer of thick vaseline.
  • I also, apply it to my hair to keep it looking shiny and healthy since I have super colored hair.

The options are endless!

haha Best Uberlube Snapchat ever sent to me!
haha Best Uberlube Snapchat ever sent to me!

  • If you experience vaginal dryness, from age or allergies or because you are on a cruddy birth control, this is great to apply to decrease friction during the day or during sex.
  • I did read that marathon users use it to decrease friction but that’s not really my jam and I haven’t tried that. haha But, I’m sure it works great with that. ((avid couch potato girl here))

A little goes a long way and one of their 100ml bottles lasts me months.  They have various sizes 50ml, 100ml, and travel size bottles.  The travel size bottle has a container to prevent it from breaking and comes in white, silver and black.  They are pretty affordable and I think you really get your money’s worth.   You can find them in a lot of adult shops or purchase it on their website, www.uberlube.com.

uberlube-logo-full

 


If you’d like to give Uberlube a try, I do have a few samples.   Just email me with your Snail Mail address and I’ll send one out to you,  Jade@HankyPankyHarlot.com

“Is Lube okay to use, if my wife and I are trying to have a baby?”

First off, CONGRATS on trying to bring some baby into this world! … and actually having sex for the “procreation” side of it all. haha

As far as your question is concerned, NOT ALL LUBE is created equal.  Whatever you probably have at home or are trying to use, I reeeally want to say no.  There are some lube specifically made for it, but majority of the lubes on the market are not sperm-friendly.

Continue reading “Is Lube okay to use, if my wife and I are trying to have a baby?”

What are Silicone lubricants!?

Silicone lubricants are favorite to many.  Either you love it or hate it. But it’s the kind where you get the most “bang” for your buck since it lubricates for days. haha

Silicone is made from synthetic materials and the content of the lubricants is only a few items such as Dimethicone, Dimethiconal and cyclomethicone. There are different “grades” of silicone so not all are made the same.  Depending, on their “recipe” it can range from thick to baby oil thin.  Just like water-based lubricants they are sometimes additives that make it softer and a moisturizer like vitamin E.  But there isn’t too much of a variety for silicone other than quality.

Pros

  • Great for girls who are sensitive down there. Since silicone’s main components are Dimethicone, Dimethiconol, and Cyclomethicone which means bacteria will not stick around  since it doesn’t have a living things or plant polymers to cling to.
  • The consistency and viscosity of silicone is similar to oil and petroleum-based lubricants but is more body friendly internally.
  • It’s like a slip and slide! Water just glides over it! So, if you would like to have some fun in water (shower/baths… pools/hot tubs) it will work extremely well.
  • It stays on twice as long in comparison to a water-based lubricant.
  • Silicone doesn’t need to be applied as much or the same quantity used as a water lubricant.
  • Condom friendly.

Cons

  • Stains the sheets and fabrics, so bring out the Oxy-clean to get those stains out, or else it’ll look like you ate fried chicken in bed.
  • You will need soap and water to remove it completely off your skin since it will leave a film and slick coating.
  • You are limited to using silicone with certain sex toys since it will break down the materials of your toy, making it melt and have a gummy-like texture.  Silicone lubricant on a silicone toy almost bonds together which makes it porous and susceptible for infections.  Even though many people don’t notice it visibly as much, once the materials have degraded, it becomes a hazard to use the toy since it becomes a bacteria party waiting to join in on the vagina fun.
  • The cost of silicone lubricants are more expensive than water or oil-based lubes.  BUT since you use less, the price is pretty comparable at the end of the day.
Slip and slide it on it... silicone lube.
Slip and slide it on it… silicone lube.

H2Ohhhhh, Water Based Lubricants! | What are water based lubricants?

Water based lubricants are the most friendliest to use out there! It has all the right qualities that are needed and wanted in a lubrication. What I mean by water based lubricant it is water soluble.  It is made with  various plant based polymers, preservatives and sometimes glycerin.  The newer lubricants that are being introduced have been adding moisturizers to decrease the stickiness and ability to stay moist longer.  So as far as water-based lubricants, there are a lot of options out there for you. Continue reading H2Ohhhhh, Water Based Lubricants! | What are water based lubricants?

Lovely Lube-y Luberly Lubed Lubricants | What are Lubricants?

Lubricant also known as Lube, is just another tool to help you sexually whether it is to decrease friction when masturbating, having intercourse, or with age just to keep hydrated to decrease that icky dry feeling.

SO! I’m GONNA SAY IT! Lubrication is not a crutch, which is what majority of the world tends to think.

Check out my other Lubricant posts:

Continue reading Lovely Lube-y Luberly Lubed Lubricants | What are Lubricants?